The official NMA board
General Category => New Model Army => Topic started by: Pol on December 19, 2014, 07:30:04 PM
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We all have different nma songs that have personal meanings to each of us. Some have been shared in various posts before.
I'm going to nominate the song ' No Pain' for me this always reminds of the loss of people who were very close, most notably my parents and my big mate Sean who was a big nma fan himself. When the song is played live it is always a extremely emotional moment and I like to raise both hands in air and point to heavens and remember them
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For me, it's always Modern Times...
It seems strange to write about these things now
but the time has probably come when we should
accept whatever is past and gone and never will return.
Looking back to the beginning
I see a flood of painful memories
and the bitter hurt and wounded pride that comes with our defeat
We set out with our heads held high,
so sure our ground, our righteousness,
the new Jerusalem to be built with love and guts and truth
But in the end we surrendered easily.
It's no use pretending otherwise . . .
well most of us had a little something to lose, enough to break our nerve.
Well, some of us made an easy peace and moved into the Brave New World;
it's hard for the true believers to look back now and realise
that for many of the crowd it was just the fashion, the cause of the moment,
well we if anyone should know that you can look pretty dumb
standing in last year's clothes.
And some of us, shell-shocked still, ran for shelter and do the rituals
the same old way pretending that someone out there cares
And some of us live in the modern world.
We give unto Caesar what is due
and harbour the bitterness of defeat and daydreams of revenge.
Now nothing you see out there is real,
It matters not what you believe in.
It matters less what you say but only what you are.
It matters what you are. It matters what you are.
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Kinda guessed on Saturday night down the front there that that one was special to you. :)
I think that's quite a brave post dude - fair play x
Mine will always be Today Is A Good Day. My thread says it all as does the ink going up the leg over the back and down the other leg. It's not an exaggeration to say that that song was one of the important rocks that held me afloat during the worst 3 weeks of my life.
Beyond that there's loads that resonate deeply because they hit something inside (the list could go on an on...), somehow a connection is there and it's Yes - that's exactly how it feels. Thank you so much :-*
On one level, music is just that - music. On another, sometimes it's an important part of our lives.
Contrary to what the wider world might believe there is no agenda with NMA, there's no prescriptive attitude it's just how stuff FEELS Allied to that is this misconception about it all being grim northern grey skies bollox, It's just not true. I never understood how the joy, compassion and love got missed along the way, maybe itr's because it's expressed so passionately people mistake it for aggressiveness?
Last of my fracking nonsense, have to say Bad Old World is very close behind TIAGD :)
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Dawn- When my mind goes in that dark, frightening place, I find it comforting. Plus i really relate to it as it's about a man who tried to commit suicide. I had a similar experience when younger. I also failed at ending my own life and found natural things such as trees and bodies of water to made life more bearable. Actually i am beginning to feel similar again and it's comforting. It starts with sadness and then "There's no way back from this spiral." He got the feeling of hopelessness correct in his lyrics.
Family Life as Well. It reminds me of how i feel about my family and painful it is. nothing is ever good enough for them and I will never live up to their expectations. I heard it a few times live and completely cried as it made me think about my dad an how he treated me as a kid. All i ever wanted was for him to hug and show that he cares, offer some comfort and encourage me. Instead i got him shouting at me and calling me names when i fell or got hurt as a small child. I am still desperate for love and in search of a new father until i get that. Therefore Family life means a lot.
Bad Old world as well for me too. It is very comforting. It gives you the illusion that someone is there to support you. Even it it is just in a song.
and High. As i find nature and being in a high position comforting. Sometimes i wish i could just stay there and not ever come back.
Sorry for sharing such dark stories. That is just the personal meaning they have.
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Bad Old world as well for me too. It is very comforting. It gives you the illusion that someone is there to support you. Even it it is just in a song.
Bad Old World for me too. I see the lyrics containing some meaning with being 'active' and fightining for a better world, which isn't bad of course but... I used to be so-called activist and hanged around with those folks (and friends). But I've found I'm not an "organisational" person. It's just personal feeling with the song.
On the other hand, it's the last song on Navigating by The Stars and it's meanings. They're very dark there you know. Without explaining it further - some years ago there were quite nasty headlines on a newspaper and I, as a deep-hearted person entered to think deeper philosophies about morality within people who are up to some cause and later on end to some terrible solution as total contrary to their earlier beliefs. I maybe should not say this but I've been always, always on behalf of idea that never turn against what's moral; never turn to human hater if you know what I mean. The grade of life and living matters always more... Oh there I go again I shut up now... :-X ;)
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Bad old world 4 sure, shame it never gets played live anymore.
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Sometimes i think that people relate more to the melancholic side of NMA's lyrics than on their most optimistic tunes, but maybe i am wrong!
"Between dog and wolf" was a rather melancholic, downbeat album i think.
Some songs and lyrics that have a kind of personal meaning for me, at least i can empathize with their content and Justin's lyrics stick in my soul!
"225": modern life that sometimes is boring, Technology evolving too fastly for us, poor human beings!
"Green and grey": lost friends
"Ballad of bodmin pill": "What i am going to do with my life?"
"Family": "Swimming alone against this tide" "and now she's gone with someone else..."
"Ghost of your father"
"Headlights": "the past is close behind..."
"Someone like Jesus": "there's always something in the corner of our lives that we cannot quite see"
"Falling": "This fear you carry with you is not of your own making...let it go"
"Sentry": "Only the seasons change..."
"Home": "These things that destroy are inside ourselves..."
"One bullet": "I think of her sometimes, when i'm on my own...i'm sorry now but you can't go back, i was wrong and i have paid, carry it with me for the rest of my days"
"High"! "All these things your fear so much depend on angles of vision"
"Peace is only": "Peace is only for the dead and the dying!" ;D
"March in September": "ain't it always the ones who want to be saved that do all the saving"
"I need more time": well, most of the lyrics! ;D
"Tales of the road": WE ALL WANT WHAT WE CANNOT HAVE! ;D
I can somewhat feel some things in new songs like "Devil's bargain" and "Happy to be here" but i'm not sure if what i feel from these songs are my own feelings, ideas or the precise content of the songs...
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Waiting
Always strikes a cord with me. Aren't we always waiting. At school we were waiting for the next half term, on the dole you are waiting for giro day, at work you are waiting for the holiday you booked off, on Monday you are waiting for Friday whatever your situation is. What are we waiting for ? Happiness, things to be good the way you hoped they would be, but nothing ever happens, nothing ever happens.
Most personal line, Down at the bus station, doing time.. I am one of the few of us that never learned to drive. I must have wasted 2-3 years of my life at bus stations, bus stops waiting to get to places I didn't even want to go to.
God, that sounds sad.
Appy Christmas :D
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Modern Times- for me personally relates to bitterness and anger at being a bit different in thought to a lot of people I know, which is kinda not the songs intent but some lyrics reflect that to me.
Bad Old World is a song of hope. Not ashamed to admit it but travelling to see the good lady in hospital the day after the birth of my second son, I had this song on and nearly started blubbing after all the worry of the day before. So for me, its the hope for my son. Fairly confident JS hadnt got that in mind when he had his pen. ;D
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For me that has always been the strength of NMA and what has continued to draw me to them. Almost every song resonates with me and feels so personal, like someone was writing a soundtrack to my life. I find it amazing that so many of us can listen to their lyrics and find so many different meanings within them. Always delivered with so much passion and often spine tingling beauty.
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Difficult for me to choose, but One Bullet, High, Green And Grey, Drummyb (Billy McCann version), My Country and The Hunt all have a special place in my heart due to their impact on me at various times in my life and the feelings they inspire in me.
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For me that has always been the strength of NMA and what has continued to draw me to them. Almost every song resonates with me and feels so personal, like someone was writing a soundtrack to my life. I find it amazing that so many of us can listen to their lyrics and find so many different meanings within them. Always delivered with so much passion and often spine tingling beauty.
You have summed it up perfectly here. :)
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Orange tree roads has "spoken" to me since the first time I heard it. It seems to be about the changes we all go through in life and I just love it.
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Orange tree roads has "spoken" to me since the first time I heard it. It seems to be about the changes we all go through in life and I just love it.
It's just the best. I used to sing it to my daughter as a lullaby.
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Orange Tree Roads for me, too. While my life is comparably settled now, it hasn't always been this way, and I especially relate to the shedding of the old skin! It reminds me that the past is past, and it doesn't have to impact on your future and especially your future self unless you want it to.
Green and Grey, because I am a long way from where I came from.
No Greater Love, because I really feel like my life's been saved, too.
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Trust and Curse have real meaning for me since my wife left me for another man. :'(
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Back in 2001 i was having "trouble with my woman" and drunk alone at home listening to someone like jesus, listening to this was like an epiphany and i subsequently phoned up the then nma fc telephone answering machine with a lengthy rant about its genius, Catharsis of sorts, sad but true!
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here comes the war - since it just talks to how mad the world is
you weren't there - since its the one that we can sing almost perfectly and when he says waco we know he means wicklow
i love the world - since i do
orange tree roads - since its clivey's
stupid questions - since its what i think so often
vengeance - since its what i'm a going to do to some real slow for the next while. drive the slope headed thick **** mad
vagabonds - since its what we are
225 - since its totally what i say so often and wonder how could this happen. they talk about sorts of rights for people. people shouldn't go without water, education, health, a roof over their head. people shouldn't go without privacy, that should be the principle human right. trust is inherent in privacy. thats a great place to start.......and we can take it from there
51st state - since it could be some many factions and countries around the world depending where american interests are
flying through the smoke - since the music the best to start a gig or an album ever. drum and bass and class
someone like jesus - since its me
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and just in case
We're out here on the borders with our favourite few possessions
Traded stories whispered round the fire
As shadows in the searchlights, mugshots in the files
Waiting in the camps behind the wire
Kick the door until it opens, what you have you cannot hold
We are young, forever hungry, you are fat and growing old
Still every day you try to build a higher wall
We pick the leaves of coca, we stack the crates of cola
We wait upon the tables where you dine
And learn from you not to accept the little that we're given
To take the piece of silver where we can
Now clutching at these papers in another office line
We're staring from the darkness up at windows filled with light
And every day you try to build a higher wall
In my town we used to pray to idols sent from far away
From out beyond the dusty days, we heard your voices call
And in your town the streets are cleaned
The order stands, the sirens scream
You talk of peace, vacation dreams - and reinforce the wall
Now in the queues at immigration, in the border zone
We are your bastard children, all coming home
And every day you try to build a higher wall
Every day you try to build a higher wall
But your money cannot stop us
And you violence cannot stop us
No you will never stop us with your higher wall
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Marrakesh. Maybe not a personal meaning, but all this tripe talk from "space" reminds me of the good feel you get from that song. For some reason, when I listen to it, it reminds me of being pleasantly pissed in the middle of the day on a hot Summers day.
Maybe I did listen while pleasantly pissed in a summer day long passed, or maybe I just imagine it would be the perfect song for the job. I will have to try it our hopefully in a few months.
Mid afternoon. Sun beating down. Marrakesh on. Ice cold cider. I look forward to it. :)
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So many really..
We all make our own interpretations of and representations from Justin's songs.
You can take them in a number of ways which is why I like em so much. I do rather love Sky In Your Eyes and I think some of his most lyrically reflective stuff is on the Navigating solo album.
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yes
we all make our own interpretations
means so much to so many
that's why it speaks to us all
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Dawn - When my mind goes in that dark, frightening place, I find it comforting. Plus i really relate to it as it's about a man who tried to commit suicide. I had a similar experience when younger. I also failed at ending my own life and found natural things such as trees and bodies of water to make life more bearable. Actually i am beginning to feel similar again and it's comforting. It starts with sadness and then "There's no way back from this spiral." He got the feeling of hopelessness correct in his lyrics.
Family Life as Well. It reminds me of how i feel about my family and painful it is. nothing is ever good enough for them and I will never live up to their expectations. I heard it a few times live and completely cried as it made me think about my dad an how he treated me as a kid. All i ever wanted was for him to hug and show that he cares, offer some comfort and encourage me. Instead i got him shouting at me and calling me names when i fell or got hurt as a small child. I am still desperate for love and in search of a new father until i get that. Therefore Family life means a lot.
Bad Old World as well for me too. It is very comforting. It gives you the illusion that someone is there to support you. Even it it is just in a song.
and High. As i find nature and being in a high position comforting. Sometimes i wish i could just stay there and not ever come back.
Sorry for sharing such dark stories. That is just the personal meaning they have.
Wow... you're definitely not alone there, Amandistan. Never had the pleasure of conversing with you on here, but I've enjoyed many of your NMA/JS related posts / threads. Hope you're ok wherever you are and that there is finally a good kind, genuine, soul to happily hold you now. It's the little things in life that make the biggest difference. Thank heaven for music, eh? We'd all be fcuking lost without it! Well, I wouldn't've made it this far (in age, not success), that's for sure.
It takes a lot of guts to do what you're doing, travelling the world alone, especially being a woman. That's true strength. You have to be everything to and for yourself... mother, father, friend, support system, etc. You are a remarkably strong young woman, good on you! May your path always be lit and warm. Thanks for sharing all that you did (same goes for everyone else here who did also). It takes a lot of courage to open oneself up like that, doesn't matter if one is male or female, it's never easy. Hope you get to see NMA sometime, someday, somewhere - sooner than later. Sending positive thoughts, vibes, along with a deep, warm and sheltering hug, your way. Take care and...
Best wishes,
8
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Aw, re-reading old messages from fine people who rarely or never get around these parts anymore... :-[
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Orange Tree Roads for me, too. It reminds me that the past is past, and it doesn't have to impact on your future and especially your future self unless you want it to.
The lyrics their meanings are a bit unlike, they are the contrary of "Headlights"'s lyrics for example...where the past is always with you, "close behind", "all the way through your life", like Justin once said before the playing of this song!
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I used to have favourites but then I couldn't listen to any. We had tickets for every night for NOATV, it was my birthday weekend, but I ended up in hospital after an overdose and we couldn't go. NMA became a 'thing', a permanent reminder of where I went to that night, it was just so painful. No gigs, no nothing. I've just put on Eight, the first time I've listened to a single song since then. Honestly, I'm in floods.
If I manage to get myself to the Welkweg or Nottingham, every single song will have a personal meaning. Every single one.
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Hello Mawsley, sorry to hear your tale, and to think we could have stood next to each other. If you need any help just shout, maybe we can make some happy Army memories for you.
I just read that back, sounded a bit dodgy but I’m sure you understand the sentiment.
Cheer
jc
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I used to have favourites but then I couldn't listen to any. We had tickets for every night for NOATV, it was my birthday weekend, but I ended up in hospital after an overdose and we couldn't go. NMA became a 'thing', a permanent reminder of where I went to that night, it was just so painful. No gigs, no nothing. I've just put on Eight, the first time I've listened to a single song since then. Honestly, I'm in floods.
If I manage to get myself to the Welkweg or Nottingham, every single song will have a personal meaning. Every single one.
OOf. That's a sad post.
This thread might not be as active or lively as it used to be, but there's mostly good folk here. Feel free to get back to us.
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A dark tale . Reminds me when I was living in the homeless shelter only a few clothes very little money. A cd walkman n 1 cd - raw melody men . Hope you can stay on the right side mate
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Mawsley if you do do Melkweg make sure you come along to the pre gig curry which JC normally sorts out, I will get you a drink of your choice and as already said if you need anything just PM.
Been in dark times in years past aswell.
Its always good to talk.
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I used to have favourites but then I couldn't listen to any. We had tickets for every night for NOATV, it was my birthday weekend, but I ended up in hospital after an overdose and we couldn't go. NMA became a 'thing', a permanent reminder of where I went to that night, it was just so painful. No gigs, no nothing. I've just put on Eight, the first time I've listened to a single song since then. Honestly, I'm in floods. If I manage to get myself to the Melkweg or Nottingham, every single song will have a personal meaning. Every single one.
Dear Mawsley,
Your story resonates quite deeply with me, as well. I went through something similar, 'round the turn of the millennium. It was, to date, the darkest period of my life. Mine though, was intentional - an attempt on my own life, and the 6th one at that. I've had suicidal tendencies since I was a very young child, 5 or so years old. For me, the trigger has always been change... I don't do well with huge changes in my life, be they positive OR negative. I don't know why or what it is about me or change itself, but they've just always marked and proven to be the darkest periods in my life. Out of the 6 attempts I've only been hospitalised twice, once in early adolescence, and the last one in my late 20's. Three of the attempts were kept secret from the ones I love, they were while I was still in very early childhood. I am paying price for the ones I kept secret now, because I have health issues today, that are linked to those very early attempts. I also come from a very abusive background, which was another serious factor, especially during my very early childhood years.
I got better via seeking professional help, being medicated and the love of honest, good folk. It took me a very long time to find the right professional. I think that's where all the hard work ends up getting fcuked over, is when one has got the wrong professional people helping them. Every individual is different. We all function differently, mentally speaking. One's culture and background has so much to do with how well they will respond to whatever treatment / therapy they're going through. The very first professional I ever had, when I was in my pre-teens, was a man. He was extremely negative, cross and short with me - rather than try to understand where I was coming from, what made me want to take my own life. It was like having another angry parent. Being a child at the time, his approach actually scarred me - my spirit, my soul, self esteem. Later, in my late 20's, I had another professional man, but all he did was ask questions and take notes. He never spoke to me. There was never really a conversation aspect to his technique, approach. I didn't know it at the time, but what I needed was guidance, advice. Saw him for many years, then I had a relapse. After that relapse, I was introduced to a female, professional. She has been an absolute 'GOD'-send. I see her regularly. She is a breath of fresh air. I adore her so very much. So far, for the most part, I've been okay... which for me is an incredible feat in itself.
To say I'm cured, would be an out-right lie. These are demons I'm going to have to fight / deal with for the rest of my life. I too, had a period when I couldn't listen to music, read, watch tv, practice faith or anything. Slowly though, with each new day, things started to get a little better. I'm a huge music lover, and gradually returned to music... it has been really, the only 'thing' besides real, true love (not sex!), professional help and meds, that has kept me alive. It's really not a joke, but an important, massive part of me would die without it. It's proven to be the best, most effective and affective 'food' for my own heart, soul, mind, body.
Mawsley, I don't know the full extent of your situation, as it isn't any of my business, and I don't like to pry... but if you ever, ever need to let stuff out into the open, to talk, to vent, to cry, or whatever, please consider this special place, sacred space - especially if you do not have a support system in 'real' life. Though we may not be professionals, a lot of good souls float here, that would be more than happy to lend an ear and an open heart. You're not alone. (same goes for anyone else floating here going though a dark stage in life).
You mentioned that you've just begun to gradually get back into NMA's music, but I wouldn't just yet. Instead, go slowly. Start with Mr. Sullivan's magnificent solo album 'Navigating by the Stars' first. Um, just promise to skip over the very last track on it, as it may be a bit too dark for you at this moment in time. If you don't own a proper legitimate copy of the album, you can download it from the shop (https://shop.newmodelarmy.org/). If money is tight right now, someone uploaded it to youtube (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YcpcdrLI8cc&t=7s). Its beauty and magic will begin to make you whole again, strong again... I promise you.
Mawsley, I wish you love, light, warmth, comfort, guidance, protection, stamina and strength. It feels as though you are just on the cusp of coming out of the darkness, taking the most important, first few steps back into the light. Hang in there... and remember, you've always got the music and this special place, sacred space, ok? Hope you do get to see NMA in some capacity this year, it'll help out so very, very much. Take care and...
Best wishes,
8
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Thanks everyone, and sorry - I didn't mean to sidetrack the thread, really was a moving moment for me yesterday. My head is in a much better place than it used to be, I've worked hard at it for years now...and I'm not surprised in the slightest that I'm not alone. NOATV brought a number of triggers together that my (normally) good coping mechanisms couldn't deal with all at once. Yesterday was ripping that plaster off.
But, yea...it's good to be back, so to speak :)
Amsterdam is almost a definite, just have the daughter's 18th to pay for this coming week and see what's left in the bank - the city is special to me and the wife. And I can't remember not going to Nottingham until last year...but then I can rarely remember going to Nottingham either, it's always been a boozy trip. :D
But back to the thread, and it was probably Better Than Them. The whole album reminds me of travelling up and down the M6 to band rehearsals, and the song itself feels like every weekend I ever had in Northampton. And, the 12" was always on the stereo with us belting out Trust.
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Good stuff see you in Amsterdam. Talking of NOATV appreciate you never got there, would you like a Song book from that weekend, think I have a spare yours for free ;)
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A good curry solves many things :) I shall be expecting you Mawsley and Mark.
For me it was and still is Better Than Them, reminds me of school and not fitting in.
Cheers
jc
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My head is in a much better place than it used to be, I've worked hard at it for years now... and I'm not surprised in the slightest that I'm not alone. NOATV brought a number of triggers together that my (normally) good coping mechanisms couldn't deal with all at once. Yesterday was ripping that plaster off. But, yea...it's good to be back, so to speak. :)
Truly thankful to learn you're feeling and doing so much better, Mawsley. :) I am even more thankful, happy, and especially relieved to hear that you are surrounded by family, (wife, daughter = support system) so you're definitely no going it alone... I was genuinely quite worried.
You're going to have a blast in Amsterdam and Nottingham! :D Enjoy it, all of it. :)
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Look forward to meeting you in Notts, Mawsley... unless we have met already, like you say, Nottingham is a bit of a boozy one! ;D
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Absolutely Mawsley. Me, M/R, Bunny, sometimes Pol and occasionally Anna meet up before Rock City and are now in a habit of having a regular spot of upstairs at Spanky Van Dykes, or Albert's I think its called now. Yourself or anyone else here for that matter, literally more than welcome to joins us - it will be our pleasure.
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Good stuff see you in Amsterdam. Talking of NOATV appreciate you never got there, would you like a Song book from that weekend, think I have a spare yours for free ;)
Oh that would be absolutely awesome, thank you so much!
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Absolutely Mawsley. Me, M/R, Bunny, sometimes Pol and occasionally Anna meet up before Rock City and are now in a habit of having a regular spot of upstairs at Spanky Van Dykes, or Albert's I think its called now. Yourself or anyone else here for that matter, literally more than welcome to joins us - it will be our pleasure.
We stumbled in there two year's back, heaving. Then I realised I'd forgotten about the queue to get in...after walking straight into Rock City at the front of it. I was immensely drunk, that countered some of the guilt I felt :D
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So many, seems like a lifetime of meaningful lyrics...
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for me, 'winter' resonates so strongly - every line of it feels like, for me, allegory relating to some part of my experience, now: the wilderness of plenty, the hunt getting closer, the age of consequence.
for me, there's something profoundly beautiful, and clear, about the closing moments of that song.