How do you feel about where you live?

[sozbot]

I guess I've never really settled down. Other than the first 21 years I lived in my parents' house, the three years I've spent in the place my husband and I bought is the longest I've stayed anywhere.

I like my house (although I'll be happier when we've finished the ongoing refurb, it's taken longer than either of us expected). I like my neighbourhood. We have decent boozers and restaurants, it's fairly working class and laid-back, as well as safe enough for me to walk home alone at night if I have to.

That said, the proximity to London is draining me. I wish I didn't live in Greater London. I wish I could be well shot of the place. I'd like to move somewhere like Brighton, which is within easy/cheap enough reach of London by train so that I could still pick up work there, but I just have the feeling that being somewhere else would be infinitely nicer, and Brighton seems to tick a lot of boxes.

I've lived in various parts of London for the last 6 years, and while I found it really exciting at first, I've had enough now. In my thirties and feeling "too old for this rubbish" but still too young to hide away in a village somewhere. Husband and I aren't planning on kids, so that's out of the equation. We lead a fairly busy lifestyle, go out a reasonable amount.

I would like to settle down. I would like to find the place that I'm not itching to get out of. I don't think it's wanderlust, I genuinely believe that London (and big city life in general, I felt the same about Sydney and to a lesser extent, Perth) is just not for me.

With all this in mind, though, I'm curious to hear how the rest of you feel about where you live. Your house, yes, but more a general sense of the place. Do you love it? Hate it? Indifferent? Do you feel like it's where you'd like to be forever, can't wait to get out, or are fine with being there for the time being but would eventually like to live elsewhere?

For me, it's a combination of "can't wait to get out" and a more measured, rational "this will do for now but I need a get out plan".

Over to you, folks!

[Pol]

I really like where i stay for the first time in my life i feel really settled and secure. I lived with my parents till i was 18 and even though they were good people i felt at the time i couldn't wait to leave. I became a parent at 19 and moved in with my gf/mrs i always felt the house was hers though and felt really unsecure but that's another story.
 I lived in Stewarton for about 12 years and the flat I'm now in for nearly 9.
Its very much small town Scotland (population 9000 approximately) with all the good and bad that brings. Most people are really friendly especially the older people who generally say hello to you in the street etc , even though I've got to know people i still see myself as a bit of a eccentric outsider buts that's me in general.
 I like the country feel surrounding the town, I went to Irvine yesterday on the bus (20 mins) at thought the scenery was beautiful just green fields sheep cows etc thinking im appreciating nature more as i get older.
I like that its only 10 mins to Kilmarnock or 30 mins to Glasgow on the train as well

[Darkness]

I'm in between houses. I moved out of my house that I'd lived in for 17 years last year and back to my Dad's house. I'm waiting for my wife to either buy me out or sell the house. She's still living in it with her new boyfriend. I can't move on until the house sells and I have some money. So at 48 I'm back in the house I grew up in and it's depressing. I've lived in the same town all my life, but won't be able to afford to get a house in it. So it's moving to a new town for me and renting as I probably won't be able to afford to buy a house.
I love the town where I live, it's quiet and a great place to bring up kids. It's a small town on the edge of Manchester. At the moment I feel like I'll never have a place that will truly feel like the home I left behind.

[Amandistan]

I hate it but I basically no longer have roots anywhere. I just gave up my lease to travel the world as long as possible.
If everywhere is my home, then it is good and bad.

[Anna Woman von NRW]

Hugs to you Darkness - keep faith, it will get better 

I have very mixed feelings about where I live. I grew up in Kent and lived somewhere in it for all my life. I feel very attached to Kent and I think it would have to be a very good reason (or a very special Capara  ) to make me move away entirely. But I didn't choose to live where I do, When my partner and I split 12 years ago we committed to both living very close to each other so that we could have proper joint custody and share parenting. But it's been a long 12 years and I plan on moving as soon as my Son finishes college next year.

But I am really lucky. I rent a small house in one of the most affluent areas of the SE. Very monied, very traditional, very true blue but perched on the edge of Ashdown Forest in the Weald of Kent. I can't lie - it's gorgeous. As far as crime, amenities, infrastructure, environment etc it's really good. Like I said, I'm lucky.

Thing is, it's the most unfriendly place I have ever lived in. Been in this house 7 years and only know a few names for folks in my street and only a handful more would take the time to acknowledge people they pass in their own street. I've house shared in shithole parts of Chatham but the people are worth far more than the snooty stuck up arseholes round here.

And then there's the money. I can barely keep this house going now and as for any idea of buying, that's la-la land - on the market the tiny 2 up 2 down mid terrace I rent go for about £250k. Even if I didn't want to, I think I would be forced to move within 18 months. Earnings and expenses don't stack up any more. But I am a single parent so if there was another wage coming in or I was on my own it would be a bit different.

[Master Ray]

I have lived in the same place for well over ten years... it's a very small and kinda grotty flat, the top half of a big house... my rapidly-rotting wooden windows are all drafty, my carpets are worn paper-thin, the floorboards creak all over the place to the point where I worry they might collapse, my shower doesn't work anymore and my bathroom has great big dark damp furry patches festering on the walls thanks to lack of ventilation...

Why am I still living here?  because (1) my landlady is a slightly insane old woman who hasn't put my rent up since about 2007 and (2) if I moved out, I'd have to pay about £50 a month more just to get a ******* bedsit...

I hate where I live, it's a ******* shithole.  I'd be ashamed to bring anyone here.  But it's the best I can do right now.

 

[Darkness]

Thanks for the hugs Anna. I'm gonna be in a similar situation to you, never going to be able to afford to buy a house again. The worst thing for me is leaving my kids behind.
Ray, your bathroom sounds like the bathroom at my old house.

[Anna Woman von NRW]

Master Ray - you need some hugs as well 
Keep faith my friend 

The worst thing for me is leaving my kids behind.

More hugs - and these are a bit bigger 

Seems I feeling particularly full of hugs tonight 

 

[sozbot]

Hugs to you all - and thanks for sharing your thoughts.

Pol - sounds like you've found your happy place, and I'm glad!

Darkness, I'm sorry to hear about your situation, and having once found myself unceremoniously back at my parents' house (love them to bits but didn't want to be there, then). I hope that you're able to find somewhere you truly feel happy.

Master Ray - it's a shitty situation, all right, and it's wrong, especially with what I've read you're going through work-wise. I hope it works out for you, too.

Anna - I hear you on the unfriendliness. It's not so bad where I am now, but in the other parts of London I've lived, I haven't known anybody's name, and the only friends I've made are through work, and with the transient nature of  my work that's an issue in itself. Property prices are absolutely mad and the only reason we've been able to buy our relatively modest home is because I was left some money for the deposit and my husband earns decently as an electrician. Otherwise we'd have no hope in Hades.

Amandistan - I've said it before, but I'll say it again: I really admire what you're doing and wish you all good luck along the way.

I'll be honest, I feel like a bit of a spoiled brat after reading some of your posts - I'm just fine here, just not the happiest I think I could be, but that's got a lot to be said for it. I think I need to stop complaining about the things I dislike, and start thinking of what I can change and how I can change it.

I wish you all well.

[Bunny]

I live in the Royal Borough of Dudley sur Mer. With my mom. Which at 45 is sad but a divorce/debt driven neccessity. Hate that. Sometimes I hate Dudley Borough but I forget it has a lot going for it. Just the other day I went to the house where the Gunpowder Plot conspirators fled to. Loads of history in my area that gets overlooked. Then 4 days a week I live Norfolk village life. 30 years behind my normal week. If i was a bit more interesting Id call myself nomadic :-)

[Anna Woman von NRW]

I'll be honest, I feel like a bit of a spoiled brat after reading some of your posts - I'm just fine here, just not the happiest I think I could be, but that's got a lot to be said for it. I think I need to stop complaining about the things I dislike, and start thinking of what I can change and how I can change it.

Don't be daft x There's no league table is there? We all dealing with what we've ended up with aren't we. And someone could be lucky enough to love where there live but there's still nothing wrong with them looking at if they could make themselves happier.

The thing that pisses me off is that a number of posters have made plain that they've ended up where they are because of economic reasons. That's not right. People should not have to leave the area they live because of money. Choice is one thing - financial necessity another. We can send a Space Probe to Mars, Bomb people thousands of miles away by a glorified Xbox controller, pay bonus of £millions to individuals but we can't make it work for people to live where they want to? I thought I was prone to episodes of madness but that is proper fucked up!  Friday night rant over - 

I forget it has a lot going for it. Just the other day I went to the house where the Gunpowder Plot conspirators fled to. Loads of history in my area that gets overlooked.

Very true. I guess there's a bit of truth in that "familiarity breeds contempt" quote. A couple of months ago my car was having a couple of tyres fitted and so with a hour to kill I just wandered aimlessly around Tonbridge, ended up in the churchyard looking at Trees (sad but hey what can I say!). I'd seen that church countless times because my Sons Doctors is right next door. Wandering around the graveyard I happened to look up at the church and I saw a Gargoyle, then as I looked closer - the buggers were everywhere. In 16 years of seeing that church I'd never seen them before.

 

[sozbot]

The thing that pisses me off is that a number of posters have made plain that they've ended up where they are because of economic reasons. That's not right. People should not have to leave the area they live because of money. Choice is one thing - financial necessity another. We can send a Space Probe to Mars, Bomb people thousands of miles away by a glorified Xbox controller, pay bonus of £millions to individuals but we can't make it work for people to live where they want to? I thought I was prone to episodes of madness but that is proper fucked up!  Friday night rant over - 

Yep, that pisses me off in a major way, too. I know it's bad in every industry, but being a muso, I see so many of my friends living in conditions that are just unfair for the amount they work, and certainly how hard they work. There's not a great deal of choice, as you said, and that's what sucks.

There are a lot of things I don't miss about Australia, and I don't see myself moving back there for a long time, if ever, but there are some things they DO get right and one of them is proper pay for the work you do. I worked as a receptionist/admin assistant and did music after hours for a year, and I earned about twice what I would in the UK for a similar job. Enough money for rent, food, bills AND a bit to put away for the future. That was an average wage, too, nothing fancy.

The best part, though, was the fact that they didn't mind that I was a musician and that was my real passion and aim in life. In fact they positively encouraged it, and gave me time off when I needed to do performances etc. They were happy for me to research stuff or study music scores at my desk after I'd done the admin and was just answering phones.

And yet I've had friends in the UK turned down for jobs they'd be fantastic at, because the people don't like that music will always be more important to them than the shitty job that company is offering.

Seems to me there's a real sense in the UK that you have to be a slave to your job, and suck up every bit of shitty treatment for terrible pay, and have no life outside it. And if you don't, well, someone else will, so see you later. Well, it's certainly that way in London and from what I hear, it's similar elsewhere.

[ian@leeds]

I now live in Melbourne Australia and after continually moving for decades I now live in a box in the sky in south yarra and loving it, no more rural or suburbia  just green and grey!!

coming over to UK in Dec booked 3 gigs so far, maybe meet up with some of you

Ian

[Heno]

wicklow - ok
ireland - cool
europe - disheartening
northern hemisphere - fellow inhabitants make it difficult
earth - it will improve for everyone
the universe - lonely but happy that i know there is no other planet like this
sometimes newmodelarmy.org - at home and respected