Island Redux

[cthulhu]

So.... i know that there are some folks here who want to have an unspoiled, brandnew, unboxing the new Carnival Redux Mix - Feeling, as a whole album when its released.

Here i want to share and talk about the "instant free" download of the "single" island, which you get immediately when you have ordered the album.
So some of you could consider this as a spoiler thread, now you have been warned, reading on at your own risk;-)

I'm in a talking (writing) mood right now, which i haven't been for a time and it has to do with that virus thing, i have to admit. And yes, this has something to do with "Island", just be a little bit more patient..;-)

The thing is, this whole pandemic (plandemic, COVID (CoveredOperationViralInfectiousDesease) has shocked me, shocked me deeply. But not the way that you think. I have to see for myself, that i'm more affected than i thought. The world has changed, is changing constantly and fear is everywhere. Every fcking where. Sorry...

What i want to say is that i've noticed that i've gone underground somehow, emotionally.

I was writing a little text for this forum, like two weeks ago, when i was listening to "stranger", because it was that moment "when you could scream and no one would hear" for me and i found shelter in that song. And i had noticed then, that it was a very long time for me to go into music on that level and i took out some "old" NMA songs, i watched the NOTV dvd and tears were pulling constantly down my face, i'm so emotionally attached to that, tears of joy and thankfulness...
My text was about, that only at that moment i was fully aware of how deeply i will miss my at least yearly NMA live experience. That this year there will be no concerts. Of course i knew that before, but you can know something like an information but this was the first time that i felt it. It just fcuking struck me...

So with that i've tried a little to give you an impression of the mood i'm in and when i received the mail that Carnival will be worked on again and given a new Mix, i thought: "Nice!" and ordered the album. i thought at least i will have something interesting to listen too. But mostly i just orderd it and didn't think about it too much.
Then i went back to the shop, because at first i thought that the Island single will be there when the album is released, but it was already there...

So i just downloaded it, three versions you can download, an mp3, a flac and a wav. I got the mp3 first, put it on...and after the first 7 seconds i was so excited...

You can immediatley hear, that this is not a simple re-mastering, but a whole new interpretation.
When you listen to the intro it begins directly, the acoustic guitar is more present, the whole song is like: more guitars, more bass, more everything, the mix is more open and direct, for me i could hear the "From Here" feeling, everything is there...but more "open", "breathing" and "dirty"..

The sound of that wonderful, wonderful bass line by Nelson is more "dirty", it interacts even more precise with the drums..the drums..i don't know..it seems to me that something was done to the cymbals, making the rhythm more dense..

This sounds more like a live rocking thing when compared to the old version, the guitars are more screaming, it seemed that there are even more guitars..one guitar melody is so present now that i kind of heard it for the first time...

I'm just blown away by this approach of mixing that song. And the funny thing is, that listening to the new version, made me reckognize more things in the old version.

Now i just can't wait for the whole album to be released!!! This will be a blast!!



(at this point i want to give some shout outs to Master Ray, Guillaume, 8 and really all of you, 'cause i feel  that  i've been to much concerned with myself and often just read silently without participating and i want to change that...so witch, lotus, pol, ghosttrain, valstar, humwcamden, bunny, shush, willard, isaac, tarsier, red, johnz, jc, fiddlesticks, bever..and all others (it's a thing when you begin to name some and then you don't want to leave someone out...but i hope all of you know what i mean..;-)

[Master Ray]

Well, thanks for the shout-out, buddy!   

Really looking forward to this new interpretation of 'Carnival'.  As I said before it wasn't one of my favourites initially but I grew to like it far more in later years and this new forthcoming version is getting me somewhat excited!

As to your comment about 'reading silently and not participating'... I've gone a bit that way recently, nothing to do with any lack of appreciation for this wonderful band, just the fact that it's a lot quieter than it used to be, not least for the way that so many regular posters from 'back in the day' are absent now.  No problem there, people do move on from places that they used to regularly visit, and I wish them all the best.

But, hey, there are a few new folks around these parts, maybe it's time to hand the NMA Forum over to the new blood and see what they can do with it!      

[8]

So.... i know that there are some folks here who want to have an unspoiled, brand new, unboxing the new Carnival Redux Mix - Feeling, as a whole album when its released.

I'm that person, but it's certainly not going to stop me from reading and enjoying everyone's - and your - input, thoughts, interpretations, take-aways pertaining to NMA's brand spankin' new version of "Island", here in this thread.  Spoilers have never, ever bothered me.  This is because we all see, take-away, interpret and understand things, nuances, details, and so forth, so very differently.  And this pertains to everything, not just some ol' or new song, etc., but absolutely everything in life - and / or even in death perhaps - that we see, feel, smell, hear, touch, taste, etc.  We're not all wired the same way, be it mentally, emotionally, intuitively, or otherwise.  This is precisely where all the exquisiteness and astounding true beauty, attraction lies... in this one crystalline, perpetual, eternal, unwavering truth.

Here i want to share and talk about the "instant free" download of the "single" island, which you get immediately when you have ordered the album.
So some of you could consider this as a spoiler thread, now you have been warned, reading on at your own risk;-)

I've got an average basic Spotify account, and last night, just before bed (I listen to most of my music, when I'm seeing myself off to sleep, I find it comforts me, fills a void, is extremely conducive to dreaming, remembering, hoping, and praying), when I was queueing up some NMA - to listen to some of their heart-swellingly gorgeous softer, quieter songs - I discovered that NMA have already put up the new version of "Island", on Spotify!  I'm likely going to cave-in at some point and listen to it, but I'm going to wait as long as I possibly can, before doing so.  Reason being, I just know once I finally hear it, I'll want the whole of it, right then and there too! 

I'm in a talking (writing) mood right now, which i haven't been for a time and it has to do with that virus thing, i have to admit.  And yes, this has something to do with "Island", just be a little bit more patient..;-)

I enjoy when you share, write and talk to us Klaus, you're very inspiring.  You're one of the ones that makes these boards, this forum really special and great to be around, via reading, posting and such.  I so appreciate the time and effort you (as well as a number of others) have invested in contributing to this most treasured NMA/JS sacred space, really.  I love it here and pray that NMA/JS don't ever shut this place down.  Ohhh, 'GOD', please don't ever get rid of the noticeboard, this is home to me... and the only real reason I even own a damn computer, period.  I just want to be here.  Damn facefook 'n fritter, this is NMA/JS' real, original home, base.  And the one that matters most to me.  NMA/JS own this special place.  They built it for all of us, meaning every single person who's ever loved NMA/JS' work over the years... no matter, who you are, where you live, what you believe, what you do, etc.  The good folk who float and post here, that do not elsewhere - 'cause there is a bunch of us - should never be left by the way-side, forgotten, when it comes to updates and keeping us in the NMA/JS music loop.

The thing is, this whole pandemic plandemic, COVID (CoveredOperationViralInfectiousDesease) has shocked me, shocked me deeply.  But not the way that you think.  I have to see for myself, that i'm more affected than i thought.

Whoa!  I never thought of Corona that way, but I suppose many do.
 

The world has changed, is changing constantly and fear is everywhere.  Every fcking where.  Sorry...

I'm one of the fearful.  But I'm not afraid to die.  I've never been afraid to die.  That's not what scares me.  Right now, it's people that scare me.  Their actions or lack of, in some cases.  Their disregard for and intolerance toward their fellow man, woman, child, mother, father, sister, brother, son, daughter, grandparents, grandchildren, aunts, uncles, cousins, nieces, nephews, friends, neighbours, colleagues, etc.  Their lack of compassion, lack of patience, lack of understanding, lack of effort, lack of abiding by some very basic rules that would help speed up and taper off the bulk of the damage caused by Corona during this fcukin' crazy and most surreal time.  Some people just have this toxic, reckless, 'fcuk it!  I don't give a shit'  kind of attitude towards 'what's goin' on' in the world right now, especially where Corona is concerned.  And it's really, really sad to see and hear.  More than that, it's heart-breaking to see people give in to that way of thinking, that kind of destructive mentality.  And it's fcukin' creeping up everywhere these days, everywhere. 

What i want to say is that i've noticed that i've gone underground somehow, emotionally.

Yeah, know what you mean, been there, still am there, actually.  I've turned into fcukin' Niagara + Iguazú Falls, as of late.  When I'm really too far down in it, I can't be here, on these boards.  I don't want to bring people down, ever.  In fact I'm the complete opposite of that, I love to lift people up and help them understand that in some weird way, we're all in the same boat together, on some level or other.  I just hope and pray to 'GOD' or whomever, whatever, that it's more like we're on Noah's rather than the Titanic. 

Klaus, don't let shit bring you down, ever, ok?  You're actually extremely resilient, gifted, talented, gutsy, courageous and yes worth it too! 

Everyone, e-v-e-r-y-w-h-e-r-e, is worth the patience, time, kindness and effort.  It's just that most people - if we can even call them that - are living a lie, living a shell version of themselves, have no soul, no love, and have blocks of stone-cold-ice for what should be warm compassionate 'hearts'.  Many are too blinded by, wrapped-up and taken-in by stuff.  Literally, physical, tangible things that do not matter, that serve no great purpose, really. 

To absolutely everyone reading this, yes, that means you too, don't ever be afraid to express yourselves ever... especially on these boards.  Emotions are and can be wonderful, they are what make us human after all.  Emotions add spark and colour to our existence, to our own personal journeys.  Sometimes in really incredible, great ways, and sometimes not.  What I'm trying to say is, if people don't like what you have to express, who cares, that's not the point.  The point is letting it out.  In letting it out - here, there, or anywhere - you just might find some kind of internal solace, peace, comfort, or better yet, 'kindred spirits' / good souls, friends that you never even knew you had. 

To paraphrase Mr. Sumner's words you're 'not alone in being alone, a hundred billion castaways, looking for a ho-ome'.  He's another person who indirectly help shape a big part of who I am... been listening to him since I was 6 years old, and he's still just as wonderful, love his writing as well.  We need to 'be the change, that we wish to see in the world' and maybe, just maybe, with time, things will begin to get a little brighter, a little better.  But it's important to remember that 'it don't come easy', nothing ever does.  You each matter and are worthy, never let anyone tell you otherwise.  Just keep yourselves open to the possibility.  You just might find yourselves surprised by and of the beauty that will unfold in front you, right before your eyes 'somehow... somewhere... someday'.  Yeah, I do love Mr. Starkey and Ms. Streisand too, and I don't give a damn who knows it, lol... piss on me, if you wish, I don't give a fcuk.  I'll always love them, their work and that goes for Mr. Sumner & co.'s works as well.    xxx

I was writing a little text for this forum, like two weeks ago, when i was listening to "Stranger", because it was that moment when "you could scream and nobody would hear" for me and i found shelter in that song.

Same here.  That's a very personal song for me.  Totally relate to it.  There's shelter in SO many NMA/JS songs, especially.  One of the reasons why I love them so much, and as much as I do.  The world needs sheltering, especially now.  I know it can't be sunny all the time, but the world's getting far too dark.  We need these kinds of tunes, especially now, more than ever.   

And i had noticed then, that it was a very long time for me to go into music on that level and i took out some "old" NMA songs, i watched the NOTV dvd and tears were pulling constantly down my face, i'm so emotionally attached to that, tears of joy and thankfulness...

I wanted so much to be there for NOATV, but terminal illness within my blood family changed everything.  Had tickets to all 3 dates. 

But I couldn't bring myself to leave.  Even after everything, I still loved him, forgave him... though I don't really feel he did me.  Even on his death bed he hated me, with vile and profound venom.  I don't know, maybe it was the dementia kicking in, or maybe he was totally right in hating me.  I know I didn't live up to his standards or make him happy, but I tried my very best, under the circumstances that I grew up in and around.  His hatred toward me, is forever branded in my memory.  It's all I'm ever going to remember when I think of him now.  It's going to be those last few weeks, weeping by his bedside, hoping he'd say those 3 words I waited my life to hear, to me.  But he was just so intense, agitated and angry.  I never made him happy.  I never made him smile.  'GOD' knows I tried, but his hate, disappointment and disgust towards me was just unshakeable, too great.  There was nothing I could do to change it.  The night he closed his eyes, I was holding his hand.  He had looked at me with this blank look in his eyes, like I was some fcukin' stranger.  Didn't even try to say a single word to me, but he didn't pull back his hand either... which I am so grateful for.  He'd never let me touch or hold him in life.  He'd always fend me off, vehemently push me away.  Just like every single person in my life has ever, ever done.  I just wanted a hug and to hold him, to let him know that I truly loved and forgave him, absolutely everything.  But he'd always tell me off and physically pushed me away.  It's a year this month, now.  And I have yet to go back to his grave since he passed.  I wish it'd been me in the cold ground, than him... it might've given or brought him joy, if it had been the other way around.  At least he would've had something to live for.  I'm just wasting space, light, time, you name it.  I can't fcukin' get my shit together.  I'm in a rut.  Been in it all my life.  And I'm just tired now, tired.  I'm so very sorry for posting all this stuff here, but no one I know in my real life will ever read it, see it.  And, it sometimes helps just to write or talk things out, even if only to and by myself, or 'GOD', insects, animals, the wind, the rain, walls, trees... empty spaces.

My text was about, that only at that moment i was fully aware of how deeply i will miss my at least yearly NMA live experience.

My last NMA gig was 10 years ago.  I've tried to go see other gigs, but it's not the same thing.  Even though they're great gigs in their own way, it's just not the same as seeing NMA/JS&DW play live.  I'm really missing them, like the rest of you. 

Things have turned for the worse with me, at this point.  I'm too much of a fcukin' mess right now, that I'm not so sure I'll be able to get back out of it anymore.  My doctor's increased my dose and I'm talking to her more often now.  It's getting 'harder by the minute'.  I feel like I'm hanging on by a thread.  I'm trying to take things day by day, moment by moment and trying to find the tiny 'quiet joys' and splinters of light in my life.  It's always been the little things that have mattered most to me anyway.  I wasn't made for this world or anywhere, really.  I don't understand why the fcuk I was put here and why I'm still here, 'cause all I've seemed to have ever done is bring tremendous disappointment, disgust and upset to every single person I've ever, ever loved and cared about.  I'm so sorry for fcuking up your beautiful thread, Klaus... see, I can't be on here when I'm like this.  I'm so sorry Klaus... everyone.

That this year there will be no concerts.  Of course i knew that before, but you can know something like an information but this was the first time that i felt it.  It just fcuking struck me...

Thank heaven these beautiful soldiers are going to play for us on the 24th of October.  I just know 2 hours is going to fly by like the blink of an eye.  But I'm so incredibly thankful for whatever they wish to do... however long they wish to play, whatever songs they wish to play, whatever words they wish to say.  Thank you NMA/JS/et al. 

So with that i've tried a little to give you an impression of the mood i'm in and when i received the mail that Carnival will be worked on again and given a new Mix, i thought: "Nice!" and ordered the album.  i thought at least i will have something interesting to listen too.  But mostly i just ordered it and didn't think about it too much.  Then i went back to the shop, because at first i thought that the Island single will be there when the album is released, but it was already there...

So i just downloaded it, three versions you can download, an mp3, a flac and a wav.  I got the mp3 first, put it on... and after the first 7 seconds i was so excited...

You can immediately hear, that this is not a simple re-mastering, but a whole new interpretation.  When you listen to the intro it begins directly, the acoustic guitar is more present, the whole song is like: more guitars, more bass, more everything, the mix is more open and direct, for me i could hear the "From Here" feeling, everything is there...but more "open", "breathing" and "dirty"..

The sound of that wonderful, wonderful bass line by Nelson is more "dirty", it interacts even more precise with the drums.. the drums..i don't know..it seems to me that something was done to the cymbals, making the rhythm more dense..

This sounds more like a live rocking thing when compared to the old version, the guitars are more screaming, it seemed that there are even more guitars..one guitar melody is so present now that i kind of heard it for the first time...

I'm just blown away by this approach of mixing that song.  And the funny thing is, that listening to the new version, made me recognize more things in the old version.

Now i just can't wait for the whole album to be released!!!  This will be a blast!!

Man, all of that sounds totally up my alley!!  One of these days I'm going to cave.  But I've got to get out of the funk 'n head-space I've been in these past few months, in order to really and truly enjoy the anything, right now.  I just hope I get better by the 24th of October.  Last thing I want to be doing is weeping like a fcuking little girl in front of my craptop, laptop.  Ugh.  Who the fcuk am I kidding, it is going to be exactly like that, for me.  I just hope that the people I live with don't bother me with comments and questions about my weeping at viewing a virtual concert.  'Cause they just wouldn't get it.  Not a single one of them, would understand. 

at this point i want to give some shout outs to Master Ray, Guillaume, 8 and really all of you, 'cause i feel  that  i've been to much concerned with myself and often just read silently without participating and i want to change that... so witch, lotus, pol, ghosttrain, valstar, humwcamden, bunny, shush, willard, isaac, tarsier, red, johnz, jc, fiddlesticks, bever.. and all others (it's a thing when you begin to name some and then you don't want to leave someone out... but i hope all of you know what i mean..;-)

Klaus, you built a truly b-e-a-u-t-i-f-u-l thread here.  It's so good to have you back here, really, really.  Sometimes people need a bit of personal space, you know, just to regroup, get their crap or thoughts together... I know I certainly do.  Please forgive me for messing up your thread.  soft, silent, broken, sad laugh out loud, now you'll know why I'm away from this special place, this forum.  I'm so looking forward to hearing "Island - Redux", I'll post my thoughts once I'm in the right head-space to hear it.  Stay safe and take care, Klaus... everyone.


oOo

[cthulhu]

@8
thank you for you trying to lift me up and be kind, while at the same time you go yourself through tough times. i cannot comment or give advise for the things you wrote and i can only slightly imagine what a trauma you are going through. confronted with a person daying and taking all the unfinished business of the personal relationship with him, that leaves you just fcukni alone...and i think here in lies the key to redemption. in yourself. but it will take time and it will never heal completely, pain is what you live with, maybe you can trie to change the subject..you know what i'm referring to.;-)
i have good friend, he had big struggles and fights with his mother, they hated each other it seemed, but then she passed away and he never could speak again with her and has so many feelings of guilt carrying with him. i think we know each other for about 20 years now, and i remember that in the old days he was really struggling with it, it sometimes just came up again in him, he was so sad about it. but nowadays, afterall those years he could accept it, he can live with it, he can accept the pain and the acceptance makes it almost vanish, though the acceptance means that it will never go away...kindof a paradox...like living itself.

so 8, as you wrote to me above, that i should never let shit bring me down, this also goes for yourself. never ever doubt that you are not as worthy as others, you are, because you're human (are you?;-)) and everybody does what he shouldn't do, and everybody thinks what he shouldn't think...again i'm quoting and that should be a hint that i would advise you (as you already do) to go into that wonderful music and all the redemptions songs and beautiful and uplifting thoughts and emotions, that make the music of nma. try, to forget, try to forgive yourself and the others, try to live in the moment, the history is there anyway, no need to think too much about it....

i found myself in a traumatic situation recently, that's why the need to put stranger on. a relationship ended, a fight happened, hurting words and struggles and suddenly the insight that this is the end of it. and the feeling of guilt, the reckognizing of past mistakes, my stubborn head, my own egoistic behaviours, my hurting of that person, though never intended i had to accept that she felt like that. so for the following weeks i couldn't help myslef while words and discussions were playing constantly in my head, my whole energy was consumed by that, i was walking around like a zombie, went to work, did my work, but my head was playing the thoughts like a broken record and i was talking, and talking to her, to me, endlessly... couldn't sleep, all thoughts turning, turning in circles...

but all the while i knew that this will go away, that this wound will heal, that it will leave a nice, fine scar and it won't be the first or the biggest one. i just had to let it happen, listening to my traumatised ego, playing stupid songs in my head. i just hat to let it happen. now i'm way better off. i think i'm in the phase where i will go back and peel of the scap of the wound, just for masochistic bleeding pleasure and to really reassure me of what an idiot i can be, until i can finally let it go...
thanks again for your post, all your posts.. and yes, sometimes they are a bit heavy..;-) but that's totally ok!

I can understand that some of you will wait for the listen of Island, as i said before, but i'm just curious about other opinions.

Maybe all that i found to be great in that mix, when compared to the original, which will have left an impact on everyone ears and perception, is a misstune in a different ear.


 

[8]

@8... thank you for you trying to lift me up and be kind, while at the same time you go yourself through tough times.  i cannot comment or give advise for the things you wrote and i can only slightly imagine what a trauma you are going through.  confronted with a person dying and taking all the unfinished business of the personal relationship with him, that leaves you just fcukin alone...and i think here in lies the key to redemption.  in yourself.  but it will take time and it will never heal completely...

It is you that have been incredibly kind and generous to me, Klaus.  I genuinely thank you.    Also for posting the  "Up for it"  Rollins Band clip and lyrics, earlier today, in the "follow that" thread.  Henry's words hit home.  I'm just not as strong as I ought to be.  I'm trying though... but like everything else in life, there are good or ok days and moments, and then there are the seriously bad days and slippery dark moments.  I just can't seem to safely tread or surf those wild and unpredictable torrents, waters, most of the time.  I never did learn how to surf, swim, or stay afloat.  Not even literally, either.

(link #1)  'pain is what you live with...
(link #2)  try to change the subject' ..you know what i'm referring to.;-)

Ohhh, you bet your butt I do!!    Those are  Mr. Sullivan's  sacred words...
from his heart-swellingly  b-e-a-u-t-i-f-u-l  song, "The Changing of the Light".  (link #3)  xx

i have good friend, he had big struggles and fights with his mother, they hated each other it seemed, but then she passed away and he never could speak again with her and has so many feelings of guilt carrying with him.  i think we know each other for about 20 years now, and i remember that in the old days he was really struggling with it, it sometimes just came up again in him, he was so sad about it.  but nowadays, after all those years he could accept it, he can live with it, he can accept the pain and the acceptance makes it almost vanish, though the acceptance means that it will never go away... kind of a paradox... like living itself.

You are so wise, Klaus.  Thanks for sharing all of that.  Everything takes time.  Everything.  And, that's ok.  My coping mechanisms just aren't up to snuff, which becomes a major hurdle for me. 

so 8, as you wrote to me above, that i should never let shit bring me down, this also goes for yourself.
never ever doubt that you are not as worthy as others, you are,
because you're human (are you?;-))

I look like one, I sound like one, I hurt like one, I break like one, I bleed like one... I must, be one.
Though I feel as fragile as an egg or tiny insect for how easily crushed I can get, can become, a lot of the time.

(link #4)  'and everybody does what he shouldn't do,
and everybody thinks what he shouldn't think'
...again i'm quoting and that should be a hint

I see where you're heading, going with all this... but I must say, what another great quote you picked there Klaus!
A couple of lines from (link #5)  "No Mirror, No Shadow"  by NMA.  Love it! 

that i would advise you (as you already do) to go into that wonderful music and all the redemptions songs and beautiful and uplifting thoughts and emotions, that make the music of nma.  try, to forget, try to forgive yourself and the others, try to live in the moment, the history is there anyway, no need to think too much about it....

I forgive absolutely everyone, everywhere of everything.  Always have.  Though I do carry a lot of personal baggage internally, I'm not one who keeps or holds grudges.  I tend to forgive and forget.  The only person I really have it with, and do not forgive, is my fcuking self, me!  How the hell can I forgive myself, when the people I love, I've hurt, etc. cannot forgive me?  How?  It wouldn't be right.  I just can't.  I can't.  And now that my dad's passed on, I'll never have that peace, that closure.  It's going to haunt me forever and beyond, for the rest of my days.  It's just something I'm going to have to learn to swallow and keep down, whether I like it or not, accept it or not. 

i found myself in a traumatic situation recently, that's why the need to put stranger on.  a relationship ended, a fight happened, hurting words and struggles and suddenly the insight that this is the end of it.  and the feeling of guilt, the recognizing of past mistakes, my stubborn head, my own egoistic behaviours, my hurting of that person, though never intended i had to accept that she felt like that.  so for the following weeks i couldn't help myself while words and discussions were playing constantly in my head, my whole energy was consumed by that, i was walking around like a zombie, went to work, did my work, but my head was playing the thoughts like a broken record and i was talking, and talking to her, to me, endlessly... couldn't sleep, all thoughts turning, turning in circles...

Fcukin' hell.  That's exactly how it is!!  What it's been like, is like for me.  It's all consuming, the broken record, going round and round in circles aspect of it.  I can't seem to get myself out of the funk 'n rut, though.  That's my damn fcuking problem!  I take my troubles with me wherever I go too.  I deal with them every second of the day, on an internal level, when in public, and in real life, too.  I'm actually the opposite to you, in the sense that, I am able to sleep and sleep somewhat well.  No word of a joke, sometimes I sleep up to 14 fcuking hours, for how bad it is / gets!  But I'm not sure if that's because of the concoction of meds I'm on that's causing me to sleep up to that many hours, or some other reason.  I've been on something or other, meds-wise, since the turn of the millennium, that I just don't know anymore what is normal.  I feel like I'm getting farther and farther away from normality,   if there even is such a thing as normality, anyway.

but all the while i knew that this will go away, that this wound will heal, that it will leave a nice, fine scar and it won't be the first or the biggest one.  i just had to let it happen, listening to my traumatised ego, playing stupid songs in my head.  i just hat to let it happen.  now i'm way better off.  i think i'm in the phase where i will go back and peel of the scab of the wound, just for masochistic bleeding pleasure and to really reassure me of what an idiot i can be, until i can finally let it go...

Yeah, I know it'll settle at some point.  I just want to keep it down inside of me and only me.  You know what I mean?  To not have all those bad memories, feelings come floating back up to the surface to wreak havoc.  If that would happen, and it would, I would have to start from scratch again to rebuild, find equilibrium, or some sort of peace with it... if I can even go so far as to call it that.  Simply because my dad passed before reconciling, there's no chance for closure.  To some great degree, it'll always remain an open wound, because of the fact that my dad is gone. 

thanks again for your post, all your posts.. and yes, sometimes they are a bit heavy..;-)  but that's totally ok!

Klaus, you are fcuking amazing!!  Seriously, I want to thank you from the bottom of my heart for everything you said and shared, on here, ever.  This talk has actually helped me get my head 'round my troubles a bit better.  Thank you.  Please forgive me for this next bit, as it's not any of my fcuking business, and I really have no right, but I'd like to give you a little tip in the relationships department... next time you're looking for a lady love, try to find one that has been raised around men, meaning, a girl that has just males for siblings.  She will likely get and understand you so much better.  Trust me.  They've got a completely other temperament to your usual lady.  Just make sure she is not the oldest in the bunch, but even more so, do not, lol, and I repeat with emphasis, do not piss off any of her brothers and things should work out pretty coolly, much more sweetly, smoothly.   Oh, and I forgot the most important bit of all, if she genuinely doesn't like, love, dig or understand NMA, don't fcuking bother, move on to the next one!  Alright?  Ok?  Okay. 

I can understand that some of you will wait for the listen of Island, as i said before, but i'm just curious about other opinions.  Maybe all that i found to be great in that mix, when compared to the original, which will have left an impact on everyone ears and perception, is a mistune in a different ear.

Same here!  I too, would love to read people's reviews, thoughts etc. of NMA's new version of  "Island",  here in these pages.  Looking forward to reading them all and posting once I hear it for myself, come November / December.  Thanks for building this thread, Klaus.  To you and everybody floating, posting here... enjoy  "Island"  and all the NMA/JS links dropped into this thread.  Take care and stay safe everyone, everywhere. 

[cthulhu]

Just checking...nobody listened yet to this great, powerful new release/mix of Island? 
Well, i can wait another month for you..;-)