It Gets Better Project (sub-title Me & TIAGD)

[Anna Woman von NRW]

You are right of course Shush - it's just how it should be really and how it should be for everyone but we all know it's not like that a lot of the time. Gender, sexuality, colour, race, religion whatever - we all know there's a hierarchy in a lot of peoples minds and they like to remind everybody else. It really fucks me off because all of these things are such non issues.

But at the same time, with specific reference to Transfolk, I think the way we are usually presented in the media really don't help - not so much nowadays in terms of hate and ridicule but most of the time we are presented as "ill" or "sad" or "tormented" with an unhealthy focus in the story on a certain surgical procedure. Positive stories and representation where being Trans is incidental to the story are very hard to come by as are stories about good things Transfolk do.  Which is why I posted my last bump - a positive story.

Your experience turning Punk is exactly like it's been for me except the number of people, quite frankly most of the time it's most of the world. Once you can break down the barrier it's usually all cool but most people don't want the barrier broken.

Sexism? This post is too long already to go there and trust me - having gone from one side of the fence to the other (as it were!) I can assure every man out there that society truly is massively stacked in your favour and you really have no idea at all. The constant casual placing of women in second place is fact as is the assumption of sexual power of men over women. I was always anti-sexist or even feminist as a male but even so I had no comprehension at all about any of this until I experienced it myself. If every male had to live as a woman for a week you'd solve sexism and sex discrimination.

End of waffle!

[Rusco]

Sadly people will so often be judged by how they look rather than be given a chance to show what kind of person they are.

Couldn't agree more with that. I face this thing far too often. Every day; whether in a shop, at work, and every ¤%&/ing where.

At first it was with my voice when I was young, later on with my looks. 

[Rusco]

End of waffle!

Ummmm...

[Pol]

Totally apologies for posting on this thread before. Just want to add this
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=CMX2lPum_pg

Ok its a bit cheesy but i thought it was kinda apt and know what i like the song.

[rick a.]

Bullying has been around forever. I was harrassed a lot in high school because of my anti vietnam position and the fact that I was a wise ass and not big enough to defend myself well. I was beat up and threatened a lot. I hated high school and was so happy to get out a 1/2 year early on a program they happened to introduce. Things got better for me immediately as I moved into a city and started meeting people who shared my interests and beliefs. Things do get better, you just have to weather the storm until the opportunity to find your spot in a bigger place avails itself.

[Anna Woman von NRW]

The different angles of vision (see what I did there?  ) in this thread show how widespread and profound the effects of bullying and harassment are. Ruscoe's post tells of his own experience, Rick there in America and back up there in the thread we were talking about sexism. This shit is all around us affecting many and any of us.

Daft thing is though, if all the bullied stood up together to take on the bullies, they'd outnumber them and have the bastards on the run instantly.

[Anna Woman von NRW]

Something got me thinking about the It Gets Better concept  again and how really the need to hear It Gets Better for whatever reason ain't ever gonna go away is it?

Then I got to thinking that actually sometimes it would be nice to hear how it KEEPS Getting Better and how if you keep faith and belief in yourself you won't believe how good it can get and how the Universe will repay your faith and belief.

Certainly during my journey accounts of positive lives have been important to hear at times.  I guess that's probably true for anyone struggling.

This is, I guess my Video Part 2 but written instead. So for the same reason I started this thread in the first place  - just in case someone like me (or anyone at all really) ever needs to hear it. This is how ******* good it can be:

You know all those nights in your life that you kinda really enjoyed but never quite totally because you were running from yourself and always carried that voice in the back of  your mind (regardless of the denial method you were using at the time) that asked the question: How good would this be if only I could be me?  You know those crowded Pub drinks, those awesome gigs , those curries, those fantastic club nights. and those after club “Nightcap Sessions” But there was always an “If only.............”

If I told you that if you kept faith, kept belief and stubbornly kept going you would get every best night that could have been compressed into just one single night you'd call me a fantasist wouldn't you? Delusional or stupid might be other slightly polite words.

Bollox to that shite Ha!

Cos it happened to me. Last Saturday the Universe paid me back with bonuses galore. Every best night that ever should have been happened in the space of 12 hours. Everything, all of it, every single “If only.....”  from those 40 years of running just got erased. I never dared to think that it could get as Better as it did and you know how good it really did get? The only potentially sour moment in the whole 12 hours was last knockings at half 4 in the morning having a last smoke outside the hotel with another member of the “Family” when some prick clocked me when I spoke cos of course my voice was fucked but before I could say a word that “Family” stepped in and she was awesome  That's how good things really can be.

Be warned though – you'll probably look a complete tit at times but oops, having 40 years in 12 hours is a bit of mad rush.

It Really Really Really Does Get Better.

Anna
x

[Master Ray]

FANTASTIC post, Anna... just wish I could have been a bigger part of your brilliant Saturday...   

What the hell, until the next time... as will doubtlessly happen.

[Pol]

I'm really glad you enjoyed yourself Anna and managed to cut loose. I could tell that you were really hyped and adrenalin fueled. You kinda reminded me of the story i told you about the carnival tour in the curry house. Its happened to me in the past that certain nma tunes, cds and gigs have meant a whole lot more than they probably should have. Good to know others have had similar things though i don't want to compare my stuff to yours. Will add more later.
Thanks for sharing your thoughts

[jc]

Anna, that post made me feel all warm and happy, thanks for sharing.

Cheers

jc

[Pol]

Ok this is my it gets better moment ending in a Carnival blow out.
I had been stuck in a really bad relationship for a good few years which just seemed to be getting worse and worse no matter how hard i tried to make it work. I had been with the girl for approximately 16 years and we had two daughters.
So finally after one heated debate too many, things finally came to head and i left my home with a small holdall of clothes, a personal cd player and a few discs one of which was raw melody men plus very little money. Now not wanting to burden friends and family and being embarrassed i ended up staying in the homeless unit. Rock bottom had finally kicked in hard.
So after about a week or so i managed to get enough money together for a deposit on a flat in the town where i still live today. I had managed to put a bit of distance between myself and the past.
So after about a year or so rebuilding my life and my possessions my father past away, now we were never as close as we probably should have been always at loggerheads over something. This had the effect of making me feel really guilty should i have done more etc etc.
So a few months later after i have stewed on everything, nma have brought the carnival cd out and of course they are playing Glasgow . So the day of gig comes im up fairly early and im playing my nma, punk and alternative tunes. I'm too hyper so i head to Glasgow, I'm in pub for about 4pm and probably drink about 6 pints. I head to the gig and the band starts suddenly im a adrenalin fuelled manic and in the hour or so the band plays i manage to blow away a couple of years of anger frustration and hurt.
Ps would like to add that life isn't a rollercoaster Ronin (****) Its a Carnival full of many different attractions
thanks for reading forgive any missed words or bad spelling

[Anna Woman von NRW]

Fantastic.

As ever guys thanks for the replies - not just on my behalf but for anyone who might stumble in here, see these pages and realise that it does get better, there is light there is hope, there are friends out there and I can't wait to see (and hug) you all again soon x

Pol - you kinda half said some of this the other night and thanks for sharing that here. Just shows that there's so many things that can lay us low in seemingly hopeless places but there is light to be found. I think it's brilliant - you're right up there in Scotland, I'm right down here in Kent yet one band brings us together and we prove that we're all the same really. no-ones different to anyone else. We can all hurt but we can all help.

Sending shedloads of love out into the universe tonight because feeling like this should be shared. If you feel like you need a bit of love then reach up and take a bit for yourself

Anna
 

[Master Ray]

We only ever seem to meet up at NMA gigs... hmmm, perhaps a meet-up outside of NMA gigs for us hardcore Forum-ites (and anyone else who wants to pop along) might be a concept to play with when we're all thinking about what we're planning for 2015...?   

Drinks, fine food and even finer conversation... well, I'm up for it!

Just throwing it out there...

[Anna Woman von NRW]

Do I get to wear me posh frock and heels? And are you paying? 

Reckon we're all a bit spread out for that to fly dude but having said that if anyone finds themselves down in Kent or even that there London..... just shout

[Pol]

As DS Robertson says Same rules apply.
Its actually pretty difficult to get time off, i work a few hours every day and only get 3 days holiday a year. I had to get the guy who owns the business to cover for me when i went to Nottingham, which to fair he was more than happy to do.