So... tell us a joke!

[Wessexy Witch]

Spent the day looking at a big house with period features.

She hates it when I call her that.

Like it !
Not offended.
 

[Jonesy]

There is a charity event in the local orphanage. In attendance are doctors, lawyers and catholic priests.
Half way through a raging fire breaks out!
The doctors shout."The children, we must save the children".
The lawyers shout "f**k the children!"
The priests say."Have we got time?"

[Wessexy Witch]

OOOofff !

 

[MARKXE]

My friend asked me to stop singing Oasis songs in public.

I said maybe.






Was just in Tesco, when the cashier asked the foreign couple in front of me if they needed help packing their bags.

I thought, f##k me!, that started quicker than I expected.

[Master Ray]

How many long-bearded hipsters does it take to change a lightbulb?

It's an obscure number, I doubt you've heard of it...

[Johnz]

How many long-bearded hipsters does it take to change a lightbulb?

It's an obscure number, I doubt you've heard of it...

Lol!

How many Germans does it take to change a lightbulb?

One. We are efficient and we don't have humour.

[Master Ray]

Every Scooby-Doo episode would literally be two minutes long if the gang went to the mask store first and asked a few questions...

 

[Red]

How do you tell the sex of ants?

Girl ants drown and bouy-ants float

[Master Ray]

I can't deny that I like to sleep naked.

The ticket collector on the London to Manchester train could have been a bit more understanding.

[Master Ray]

A little girl walks into pet shop and asks, in with a cute little lisp, "Excuthe me mithter, do you sewl wittle wabbits?"

The shopkeeper kneels down to her level & asks "do you want a wittle white wabby or a soft & fuwwy bwack wabby,or maybe a wittle cute bwown wabby"

The girl leans forward and in a quiet voice says "i dont fink my pyfon gives a thit "

[Wessexy Witch]

Ha !
 

[Master Ray]

Never date anyone who plays tennis.  Love means nothing to them.

[Heno]

those no bottom left in that barrels of jokes you have their raymundo

[Master Ray]

those no bottom left in that barrels of jokes you have their raymundo

No bottom?  Oh, sir, you underestimate me! And so....

Here are three examples of a place where you should never propose to your lovely woman.  1, in front of her parents.  2, when you're naked after a big sex marathon.  And 3, in a public place....

Or possibly 4... when you just did the three things I mentioned just now...

 

 

[Heno]

1: why
2: rio influenced no doubt. i got better results using it as a means to end up naked after  a marathon
3: another reason to keep phone boxes

4: what ya reckon?