So... tell us a joke!

[Master Ray]

So... here's a new and totally terrible joke...

A female athlete goes to her doctor and says 'Doctor, I've been taking steroids and now I think I'm growing a penis!'

The doctor says 'Anabolic?'

The female athlete says 'Nope, just the penis...'

 

[Whirlwind]

Here's a similar but better girl-goes-to-doctor joke.

Girl goes to doctor. "Doc, these hormone pills you're giving me, I think they're the wrong kind. I now have hair on my chest."
"Oh, that's OK. How far does it go down?"
"All the way to my balls!"

[Shush]

I prefer the first of the two. Good word play. "Carry On" style .

[Whirlwind]

I prefer the first of the two. Good word play. "Carry On" style .

.
The first of the two jokes above is not good. The humor all depends upon the listener knowing the word "anabolic." That's not good comedy. Honestly, how many people know the word "anabolic"? It's a poor joke. To be honest I still have trouble figuring out the connection between "anabolic" and the supposed punchline "nope, just the penis." It's bad comedy.

On the other hand, the second joke fits all the criteria of great comedy:
- it's quick and to the point
- it relies on language that all can understand
- it offers the classic comedy convention of "not what you expected"
- it's sufficiently crude, but not offensive

Joke 1 above was unfunny. No other way to put it.
Joke 2 above is great comedy.

Do you want proof? Over the next few days hit people with those two jokes. I guarantee you the second will get the great laughs. (I know you won't try that little experiment because you don't want to accept that Whirlwind is right.)

[fiddlesticks]

In that case you'll probably not appreciate the one about the Swede who found he'd forgotten to pack his wash kit on a trip to England. In the hotel shop he asked for deodorant.
"Certainly sir", said the man behind the counter. "Ball or aerosol"?
"No, it's for my armpit", answered the Swede.

[Whirlwind]

"Ball or aerosol"?
"No, it's for my armpit", answered the Swede.

.
Once again, unfunny.
Exactly how does "aerosol" imply anything? "Ball" does and the joke might have worked with just that. But "aerosol"? Unfunny joke.

Once again, try these three jokes on anybody. I 100% guarantee you that mine will get the laughs while the other two jokes will get that polite smile that people give when they don't want to be rude and flat out say "Boy, that wasn't funny at all."

[fiddlesticks]

Perhaps we need an audio visual aid..

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=d6IBiR9m3vY

Enjoy 

[Whirlwind]

Perhaps we need an audio visual aid..

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=d6IBiR9m3vY

Enjoy 

.
Uhh, read the fifth comment below that youtube video. Well, no need to, here's what it says:
"I didn't get the joke either. I had no idea "ball" and "aerosol" referred to different kinds of deodorant"

I rest my case.

Once again, try my joke and that joke. Mine will get the big laughs.

[ldopas]

"Ball or aerosol"?
"No, it's for my armpit", answered the Swede.

.
Once again, unfunny.
Exactly how does "aerosol" imply anything? "Ball" does and the joke might have worked with just that. But "aerosol"? Unfunny joke.

Once again, try these three jokes on anybody. I 100% guarantee you that mine will get the laughs while the other two jokes will get that polite smile that people give when they don't want to be rude and flat out say "Boy, that wasn't funny at all."

You don't get that aerosol sounds like asshole? Perhaps English postcard humour isn't known to you.

As the youtube clip shows from the Not The Nine O'Clock News has a stream of people who did get that joke.

Interesting though you try and define why something isn't funny. You can't do that, as something that is unfunny to you will be funny to others.

[Shush]

Do you want proof? Over the next few days hit people with those two jokes. I guarantee you the second will get the great laughs. (I know you won't try that little experiment because you don't want to accept that Whirlwind is right.)

I think it is more a case that you can never accept that you are wrong. Space there is no way to prove a joke is funnier than another unless you asked every person in the world and took a vote. You state yours is funnier simply because you find it funnier. That is your opinion, not fact -- a bridge you have crossed on this forum many times before on other issues. Your joke is simple and requires no  thought. I like word play jokes as you process the punch line in to get the gag. I agree some such jokes maybe more local than others, some words we here have others do not have. I do not believe the Americans have bollocks. Word play jokes are fun to process. Here is another you will not  get --

  Nelson was 5ft 6ins tall. His statue in Trafalger Square is 17ft 4ins high. That’s Horacio of 3:1

[Master Ray]

Nice one, Shush.  Can I follow with...

An Englishman, a Frenchman, a Spaniard and a German are all standing watching an American street performer. The performer notices the four men have a bad view, so he stands up on a wooden crate and calls out, "Can you all see me now?"

"Yes"

"Oui"

"Sí"

"Ja"

 

[Whirlwind]

You don't get that aerosol sounds like asshole?

.
Uh, no. I am American we speak American. Over here we say ass...over there you say arse. Perhaps that's why aerosol sounds like arsehole. Regardless, the joke is still unfunny. I listed reasons above why mine is far better. Why don't you folks list reasons why the aerosol joke is funny.
I bet you can't do it.

One other thing. This bad jokes all started with Master Ray. Has he ever exhibited a sense of humor at this place? No. I have a greatest hits for comedy here. (Just search for my lyrics to "Caslen)I bring humor here. Master Ray brings bad jokes.

[Whirlwind]

Look what I found:
http://board.newmodelarmy.org/index.php?topic=8682.0
And please scroll through the responses. All praise my humor.

Oh, and definitely check out the fifth response:
"That genuinely made me laugh....Kudos"
That's from Master Ray.
 

I may not be Space in the humor department, but I appreciate the humor and fun Space brought to this forum. Me and this guy Space are almost like brothers or something. I hope to meet him one day. I bet he is as good-looking as he is intelligent and funny.

[ldopas]

You don't get that aerosol sounds like asshole?

.
Uh, no. I am American we speak American. Over here we say ass...over there you say arse. Perhaps that's why aerosol sounds like arsehole. Regardless, the joke is still unfunny. I listed reasons above why mine is far better. Why don't you folks list reasons why the aerosol joke is funny.
I bet you can't do it.

One other thing. This bad jokes all started with Master Ray. Has he ever exhibited a sense of humor at this place? No. I have a greatest hits for comedy here. (Just search for my lyrics to "Caslen)I bring humor here. Master Ray brings bad jokes.

Unfunny TO YOU. You need to add that or you look closed minded.

You ask "Why don't you folks list reasons why the aerosol joke is funny." Erm I just did in the previous email. It's a play on words that you don't understand because you warp arse into ass. You prefer to call someones arse the word for a Donkey. I can't help you with that. So I take your bet and expect your payment.

Oh and Master Ray is funnier any day.

[Whirlwind]

Oh and Master Ray is funnier any day.

.
Really? This is what he PM'd me once:
 '**** off and die'
Hilarious. Real great comedy. Such a fun pleasant person.