How do you read people?

[Amandistan]

How do you read people?   

I seem to be completely blind when it comes to reading people. It's like the part of the brain the precesses non verbal communication never existed. This can be torturing and send me into great worry.  I then worry about what others are thinking/intending/wanting/feeling  and that turns into non-stop hyper focused worry. It's metaphorically like being blind and trying to drive a car and read the road signs.

My question is what are the non verbal signs that someone likes you?  When and how can you tell if it crosses into the friendship line?
What are some signs of body language if someone is bored, angry, sad, tired, interested etc.?
How can you tell if someone is joking (taking the piss) or being cruel to you?
How can you tell if someone is winding you up or being cruel?
How can you tell if someone is disinterested and interested? 

Since i also have very little confidence caused to rejection and misunderstanding due to the above, I need to be told everything or I can not process it.

I really need help on this. Any suggestions are helpful. The most important is the friendship part.
I am very new to having friends as I spent much of my life isolated and was not accepted as a kid. I am slightly broken by it. Any help on how to tell if someone is a friend is very greatly appreciated.


I should have been taught this as a kid but instead was shoved Meds down my throat since 7 because some doctor made money off of a troubled kids with an abusive father.

[Pol]

Really sorry to hear that your struggling with this Amanda.
I won't even try to give you a concise answer as its a complex subject I'm probably not capable of answering. Its a natural skill for most people I suppose that we learn from early childhood. Body language facial expressions tone of voice are all extremely important factors. I'm sure you'll find much better advice and videos on youtube and other websites.
Hope this helps

[Master Ray]

The best I can offer you is to say not to trust anyone until they give you a proper reason to... and even then, take it on face value.  Sorry, bit depressive, I know...

There is not one single absolute factor that means you can trust someone.  Many people out there are actors that would put the Academy Awards to shame, and they may want something from you.

But... you should learn to act as well because you may be excluding the decent people you may come across, people who may add something good to your life.  IMO, it doesn't hurt to act a bit more naïve than you actually are.  If you act a bit dumb (and I know you're not like that) people might open up a bit more and you might be able to read them better.

Sorry to hear you're a bit down on people right now.  There is no Bible on this subject.  I guess this what you let yourself in for when you started your travels...

[Coumarin]

I read them at "face" value. you do too if you take a moment to think about it?

[Unruh]

I wish I had some helpful answers to those complex questions you raise, Amanda. The whole 'taking the piss' vs being cruel line has always been a  murky one for me. You don't want to seem touchy but you don't to stand there laughing along with someone  who is truly insulting you. As for body language, I have even less insight. But what I am sure of is that some intelligent and perceptive answers to those questions are out there if you look in the right places.
    Here's a body language trick I learned from reading William S Burroughs and it actually works every time I've tried it. If someone unwelcome walks into a room you're occupying, look them in the face, nod, make all the right noises. But every now and then look at them and then look at the door they just walked through and then back again. Don't do it in a brazenly obvious way, but casually do it  3-4 times and, as far as I can tell, that person will leave. Or if you're Alistair Crowley, turn them into a camel.

[BlackCountryMaggiD]

How do you read people?   

I seem to be completely blind when it comes to reading people. It's like the part of the brain the precesses non verbal communication never existed. This can be torturing and send me into great worry.  I then worry about what others are thinking/intending/wanting/feeling  and that turns into non-stop hyper focused worry. It's metaphorically like being blind and trying to drive a car and read the road signs.

It's something you learn by interaction.
There are a number of books on the subject but you have to read people using clusters of information not just one or two signs

My question is what are the non verbal signs that someone likes you?  When and how can you tell if it crosses into the friendship line?
What are some signs of body language if someone is bored, angry, sad, tired, interested etc.?
How can you tell if someone is joking (taking the piss) or being cruel to you?
How can you tell if someone is winding you up or being cruel?
How can you tell if someone is disinterested and interested? 

Non verbal signs that someone likes you:
Maybe a smile
Turning towards you
Inviting you to join their social group

I think even if you're not that tuned into people if someone was bored, sad, tired etc you'd recognise this pretty quickly

As far as the joking / taking the piss question! Simple, ask!
(You mention cruelty twice here. Most people don't wind people up to be cruel!

If someone is interested they hang around, if not they'll get away as soon as possible.

I should have been taught this as a kid

It's not something you are taught as such, but something you or most people learn instinctively! Saying that some fpolk are better at it than others!

[Amandistan]

So if you don't have the ability to do it naturally, then you are in for a struggle?

[jc]

Serious suggestion: how about taking up acting classes.

Cheers

jc

[cthulhu]

if i would advise something, than i would say concentrate more to understand reading you. to get to know yourself better. to raise your self confidence and lower you doubt.

the question is, why do you ask that question? you check your sourroundings and feel unsafe of yourselve.
you don't have to know, if someone is joking. if you don't find it funny.
you don't have to know all these things about the other if you know what you really feel.

anf therefore you have to feel sure and safe inside of yourself

"what ever they want from you, you don't have to give"

the next question would be, how to i get more sure of myself. just start is all i can say and tust in little steps you make and that you, like all of us, are worthy people

if you can accept others as they are, you can demand that for yourself

"we're lost we're freaks, we're crippled, we're weak
we are the true heirs of all the world..."