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General Category => Everything Else => Topic started by: Anna Woman von NRW on February 14, 2014, 11:00:31 PM
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This is unashamedly an awareness raising post for something that resonates very deeply with me.
The It Gets Better Project is a collection of messages of support for LGBT youth aiming to inspire hope for young people facing harassment. It was set up in response to young people taking their own lives after being bullied in school The founders wanted to create a personal way for supporters everywhere to tell LGBT youth that, yes, it does indeed get better. It is a place where young people who are lesbian, gay, bisexual, or transgender can see how love and happiness can be a reality in their future
I have been very lucky in that I have had the support and love of friends and family on my journey. I can barely imagine what it must be like to go through that on your own (and if I can barely imagine it then chances are you can't even get close). Suppose you had no-one and the only thing you did have was a google search? Well maybe they might find this project and maybe it might help. So please just remember It Gets Better in case one day someone you know might need to hear it.
This is my contribution:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qALRwsL8XLc
This Is the website:
http://www.itgetsbetter.org/
If you're still here, thanks for reading.
Anna
:-*
p.s There really is a TIAGD part to this but you'll have to watch all the way to the end of my video to find out ha! Sorry but I did deliberately put it in the thread title just to try and get a couple more people to read this.
p.p.s. This is the song that I'm proud to say my Son introduced me to and that kicked me out of my inertia to do this (every name remembered in this song is a child who committed suicide, one of whom was just 13):
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XP4clbHc4Xg
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:-*
You are a beautiful person Anna.
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Watched it all, well done Anna :)
Any form of bullying at school is bad, sometimes words can hurt more than fists.
Much respect to you for this :-*
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Great stuff Anna - thank god there are people like you in the world. Well done my friend.
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Thanks Your words are genuinely touching.
:-*
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Brazen post to keep this on the first page of Everything Else. See ya' next time I'm on page 2.
While I'm here....... Seems I've had 107 views - to my old school way of thinking that's the equivalent of standing up in a Village Hall and giving a talk. Something I would never do. Imagine if we all did that for something we cared deeply about?
:-*
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Anna, i have had "charatcer" problems in the past. not nice... especially that the world is at your feet these days with the web and all that. i support you in this. mine were more about depression and self loathing. i went through a bad time.
i lived in kent for 9 years. tunbridge wells, back in the midlands now
just wish i could do the same sort of thing for a mental health foundation
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Thanks Coumarin,
I've been in Tunbridge Wells 7 years now, were you at the Forum gig?
just wish i could do the same sort of thing for a mental health foundation
To my mind fella, just by being upfront and putting your past experiences up here - you are.
:-*
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Page 2 time again - mind you if I stop bumping this I'll make it onto Page 3 ;D ;D ;D ;D
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Still Here - reckon there's a song in that somewhere.
:-*
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Nice one Anna, must take a lot of guts to get to where you are now. Respect
http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=2mkpol7nn-I
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Thank you - nice touch on the link
:-*
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Yes!!!
I'm on Page 3 !!!!!!
To celebrate:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bc80tFJpTuo
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Just waiting when we'd get those (http://board.newmodelarmy.org/index.php?topic=8095.0) WAFFLES Anna... ??? I mean the waffle alert (http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-Yi74Z1HFsDA/USELsF9NMXI/AAAAAAAAE_g/T1ymTYdQHZw/s1600/IMG_6951.JPG) you promised... ;D ;)
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What a good idea! That is a very worthy cause. I know from personal experience that LGBT youth get some horrible abuse at school and other places. It's not always just verbally but sometimes physical. Some keep it from their families in fear of disapproval so letting them know that somebody cares means a lot to them.
I had the misfortune of watching my openly gay friend be physically assaulted when in school but the bullies went unpunished even though it was reported. His family did not approve and were very angry with him simply for being himself. It still angers me to this day.
This really is an issue that needs to be addressed more frequently.
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Anna, ashamed to say I only clicked on your link today... ::)
Cracking good message and if it gives comfort to even just one person, it was well worthwhile... of course, be even better if a whole bunch of people got some comfort, but whatever...
Kudos for this one! Hope I run into you at an NMA gig sometime! All the very best to you and yours.
:D
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Hey Ruscoe - you eat all them dude and you gonna get well fat!!!! ;D
Thanks for your post Amandistan and sorry to hear about your friend, sadly an all too common story. The true impact of bigotry, hatred and intolerance is felt by real people living real lives and that gets lost in the arguing about politics, morality or whatever. That's why I like the It Gets Better Project - real people reaching out to support other real people showing them they can stand, they can be strong and they can say **** em! 8)
Thank you Ray - appreciate your kind words :-* It's highly likely we'll run into each other at some gig or another, Nottingham seems a prime candidate.
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Looks like I should be there at Nottingham... I'll keep an eye out! ;)
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That will be the -Tap and Tumbler- from 5pm good people ;)
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That will be the -Tap and Tumbler- from 5pm good people ;)
Wow, Shush... you're planning out the pre-gig meet six months ahead of it???
;D
**** it, I'll be there.
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That time will soon wiz by mate.
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Shush - your forward planning skills are a wonder to behold! I could do with some of them cos' mine are shite. Remind me of this a couple of days beforehand ;D
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On that one is easy. There is no debate as to where before a Rock City gig, its always the Tap. Big alternative pub round the corner from Rockers.
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This is unashamedly an awareness raising post for something that resonates very deeply with me...........
This is my contribution:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eTo4p0CniGc&feature=youtu.be
This Is the website:
http://www.itgetsbetter.org/
If you're still here, thanks for reading.
Anna
:-*
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Good on you Anna, respect, and more strength to you!
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Nice one Nicky - thank you I appreciate that x
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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tKguPt0kYd8
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Bump
Usually these bumps are my own vanity. But this time it ain't! Ray told us to re-activate old threads and this was on page 4 so.... It's all Ray's fault ;D
A cool little ditty (mind you, reckon that Billie Joe Armstrong fella might be a long lost member of my tribe ;) )
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ViWiOs9XySg
The other week I was thinking that actually It Gets Better is an idea that is applicable to so many things not just LGBT issues. So many people live with shit that hurts in a billion different ways and just hearing someone else somewhere identify with them and tell them they get it and it could get better in the future is a powerful thought.
I've also been thinking and scribbling about something else lately and wonderfully there's a song off the new album from the band that made the song that caused all this nonsense in the first place:
Tragedy & Time - Rise Against - The Black Market :
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UHz6ygzh5vg
:-*
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Bump
Usually these bumps are my own vanity. But this time it ain't! Ray told us to re-activate old threads and this was on page 4 so.... It's all Ray's fault ;D
A cool little ditty (mind you, reckon that Billie Joe Armstrong fella might be a long lost member of my tribe ;) )
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ViWiOs9XySg
The other week I was thinking that actually It Gets Better is an idea that is applicable to so many things not just LGBT issues. So many people live with shit that hurts in a billion different ways and just hearing someone else somewhere identify with them and tell them they get it and it could get better in the future is a powerful thought.
I've also been thinking and scribbling about something else lately and wonderfully there's a song off the new album from the band that made the song that caused all this nonsense in the first place:
Tragedy & Time - Rise Against - The Black Market :
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UHz6ygzh5vg
:-*
Most things are... ;)
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Usually when I bump this thread it's just for the sake of it with some sort of vaguely connected link. Last time I was lucky enough to blame Ray!
Not this time though. This time I just gotta tell someone about my day to prove it really does get better.
It's me so this is gonna be rambling and none of it is any sort of bigging up type shit – it's scene setting x.
So I'm an Estimator for a firm of Commercial Landscapers and we do some large works for some large companies. But the day today was about securing some serious work for a serious company. The sort of site that involves 3 storeys of site offices, 1 Tower Crane, I Crawler Crane, miles of hoardings ….. guess you can picture. The Global Construction monolith concerned might have a name that in rhyming slang could be “Bang A'Dork”. The meeting I'm in with my MD has the 2 Senior Buying guys in it, the senior Commercial bloke, the Design Manager and for a while the Project Leader: pretty mad shit really! I was a Contract Manager for 12 years before this and I tell ya this was serious! Big Job, Big Client, Difficult Job.
And there's me, the Trans girl doing the job in all of that. No different, no better, no worse than anyone else just the same respect and consideration given as everyone else. And that went for the two and half hour meeting, the hour and a half site walk – all of it. All that mattered was that I could prove my worth to do the job. Don't get me wrong the office did go silent when I walked in but I'd been there before back in July and I think they were warned the Trans is coming in again.
That don'[t matter though, what matters is that it proves to any young trans girl out there thinking that just because she is what she is so there's a bleak miserable future ahead:
Bollox to that shit :-* , not true :-* – Be strong and faithful to yourself and you can be in there playing the game in your chosen career equal to every other fucker trying to get the work! And actually overall since becoming me and facing a lot of Construction sites, overwhelmingly I have found more respect than grief all round.
So this bump is because for me: Today Is A Good Day x
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I would like to say that is all good Anna, but its not really. Its just a case of - that's the way it should be. Good for them for looking at you in terms of what you were in that given situation, a Landscape Estimator there to do your job.
Sadly people will so often be judged by how they look rather than be given a chance to show what kind of person they are. Some judgemental people will never change, I suppose we will just have to accept that. I remember when I turned punk in the 1980's. At that time, my parents decided they would in their late 30's move to a bungalow area to a house they would settle in indefinitely (they have since moved again). Point is, the area was mainly retired elderly people. When we moved there, they would wave to me, smile, say hello etc. When I turned punk, some of the same people we looking at me with disgust, and no longer acknowledge me. I was still the same person, but now I did not look acceptable.
That also reminds me (no idea why), at around the same time, I went to register at a new dentist. The receptionist asked me if of the two dentist working there if I wanted the man or the woman. To which I said I really don't mind, I want my teeth looking at, not a relationship !! I mean, at the end of the day, if the person is a qualified dentist, what difference does it make. Sort of related I suppose. Sexism is a kind of pre-judgement based on how someone looks, but that's another debate -- and one that does make my blood boil. >:(
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You are right of course Shush - it's just how it should be really and how it should be for everyone but we all know it's not like that a lot of the time. Gender, sexuality, colour, race, religion whatever - we all know there's a hierarchy in a lot of peoples minds and they like to remind everybody else. It really fucks me off because all of these things are such non issues.
But at the same time, with specific reference to Transfolk, I think the way we are usually presented in the media really don't help - not so much nowadays in terms of hate and ridicule but most of the time we are presented as "ill" or "sad" or "tormented" with an unhealthy focus in the story on a certain surgical procedure. Positive stories and representation where being Trans is incidental to the story are very hard to come by as are stories about good things Transfolk do. Which is why I posted my last bump - a positive story.
Your experience turning Punk is exactly like it's been for me except the number of people, quite frankly most of the time it's most of the world. Once you can break down the barrier it's usually all cool but most people don't want the barrier broken.
Sexism? This post is too long already to go there and trust me - having gone from one side of the fence to the other (as it were!) I can assure every man out there that society truly is massively stacked in your favour and you really have no idea at all. The constant casual placing of women in second place is fact as is the assumption of sexual power of men over women. I was always anti-sexist or even feminist as a male but even so I had no comprehension at all about any of this until I experienced it myself. If every male had to live as a woman for a week you'd solve sexism and sex discrimination.
End of waffle!
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Sadly people will so often be judged by how they look rather than be given a chance to show what kind of person they are.
Couldn't agree more with that. I face this thing far too often. Every day; whether in a shop, at work, and every ¤%&/ing where.
At first it was with my voice when I was young, later on with my looks. >:(
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End of waffle!
Ummmm... (http://cdn.arla.fi/Files/2084538000/5eb6b57c-f7c1-4cf9-a8b9-3a78a1bd9608.jpg?preset=Main)
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Totally apologies for posting on this thread before. Just want to add this
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=CMX2lPum_pg
Ok its a bit cheesy but i thought it was kinda apt and know what i like the song.
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Bullying has been around forever. I was harrassed a lot in high school because of my anti vietnam position and the fact that I was a wise ass and not big enough to defend myself well. I was beat up and threatened a lot. I hated high school and was so happy to get out a 1/2 year early on a program they happened to introduce. Things got better for me immediately as I moved into a city and started meeting people who shared my interests and beliefs. Things do get better, you just have to weather the storm until the opportunity to find your spot in a bigger place avails itself.
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The different angles of vision (see what I did there? :D ) in this thread show how widespread and profound the effects of bullying and harassment are. Ruscoe's post tells of his own experience, Rick there in America and back up there in the thread we were talking about sexism. This shit is all around us affecting many and any of us.
Daft thing is though, if all the bullied stood up together to take on the bullies, they'd outnumber them and have the bastards on the run instantly.
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Something got me thinking about the It Gets Better concept again and how really the need to hear It Gets Better for whatever reason ain't ever gonna go away is it?
Then I got to thinking that actually sometimes it would be nice to hear how it KEEPS Getting Better and how if you keep faith and belief in yourself you won't believe how good it can get and how the Universe will repay your faith and belief.
Certainly during my journey accounts of positive lives have been important to hear at times. I guess that's probably true for anyone struggling.
This is, I guess my Video Part 2 but written instead. So for the same reason I started this thread in the first place - just in case someone like me (or anyone at all really) ever needs to hear it. This is how ******* good it can be:
You know all those nights in your life that you kinda really enjoyed but never quite totally because you were running from yourself and always carried that voice in the back of your mind (regardless of the denial method you were using at the time) that asked the question: How good would this be if only I could be me? You know those crowded Pub drinks, those awesome gigs , those curries, those fantastic club nights. and those after club “Nightcap Sessions” But there was always an “If only.............”
If I told you that if you kept faith, kept belief and stubbornly kept going you would get every best night that could have been compressed into just one single night you'd call me a fantasist wouldn't you? Delusional or stupid might be other slightly polite words.
Bollox to that shite Ha!
Cos it happened to me. Last Saturday the Universe paid me back with bonuses galore. Every best night that ever should have been happened in the space of 12 hours. Everything, all of it, every single “If only.....” from those 40 years of running just got erased. I never dared to think that it could get as Better as it did and you know how good it really did get? The only potentially sour moment in the whole 12 hours was last knockings at half 4 in the morning having a last smoke outside the hotel with another member of the “Family” when some prick clocked me when I spoke cos of course my voice was fucked but before I could say a word that “Family” stepped in and she was awesome That's how good things really can be.
Be warned though – you'll probably look a complete tit at times but oops, having 40 years in 12 hours is a bit of mad rush.
It Really Really Really Does Get Better.
Anna
x
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FANTASTIC post, Anna... just wish I could have been a bigger part of your brilliant Saturday... :-\
What the hell, until the next time... as will doubtlessly happen.
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I'm really glad you enjoyed yourself Anna and managed to cut loose. I could tell that you were really hyped and adrenalin fueled. You kinda reminded me of the story i told you about the carnival tour in the curry house. Its happened to me in the past that certain nma tunes, cds and gigs have meant a whole lot more than they probably should have. Good to know others have had similar things though i don't want to compare my stuff to yours. Will add more later.
Thanks for sharing your thoughts
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Anna, that post made me feel all warm and happy, thanks for sharing.
Cheers
jc
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Ok this is my it gets better moment ending in a Carnival blow out.
I had been stuck in a really bad relationship for a good few years which just seemed to be getting worse and worse no matter how hard i tried to make it work. I had been with the girl for approximately 16 years and we had two daughters.
So finally after one heated debate too many, things finally came to head and i left my home with a small holdall of clothes, a personal cd player and a few discs one of which was raw melody men plus very little money. Now not wanting to burden friends and family and being embarrassed i ended up staying in the homeless unit. Rock bottom had finally kicked in hard.
So after about a week or so i managed to get enough money together for a deposit on a flat in the town where i still live today. I had managed to put a bit of distance between myself and the past.
So after about a year or so rebuilding my life and my possessions my father past away, now we were never as close as we probably should have been always at loggerheads over something. This had the effect of making me feel really guilty should i have done more etc etc.
So a few months later after i have stewed on everything, nma have brought the carnival cd out and of course they are playing Glasgow . So the day of gig comes im up fairly early and im playing my nma, punk and alternative tunes. I'm too hyper so i head to Glasgow, I'm in pub for about 4pm and probably drink about 6 pints. I head to the gig and the band starts suddenly im a adrenalin fuelled manic and in the hour or so the band plays i manage to blow away a couple of years of anger frustration and hurt.
Ps would like to add that life isn't a rollercoaster Ronin (****) Its a Carnival full of many different attractions
thanks for reading forgive any missed words or bad spelling
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Fantastic.
As ever guys thanks for the replies - not just on my behalf but for anyone who might stumble in here, see these pages and realise that it does get better, there is light there is hope, there are friends out there and I can't wait to see (and hug) you all again soon x
Pol - you kinda half said some of this the other night and thanks for sharing that here. Just shows that there's so many things that can lay us low in seemingly hopeless places but there is light to be found. I think it's brilliant - you're right up there in Scotland, I'm right down here in Kent yet one band brings us together and we prove that we're all the same really. no-ones different to anyone else. We can all hurt but we can all help.
Sending shedloads of love out into the universe tonight because feeling like this should be shared. If you feel like you need a bit of love then reach up and take a bit for yourself
Anna
:-*
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We only ever seem to meet up at NMA gigs... hmmm, perhaps a meet-up outside of NMA gigs for us hardcore Forum-ites (and anyone else who wants to pop along) might be a concept to play with when we're all thinking about what we're planning for 2015...? ???
Drinks, fine food and even finer conversation... well, I'm up for it!
Just throwing it out there...
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Do I get to wear me posh frock and heels? And are you paying? ;D
Reckon we're all a bit spread out for that to fly dude but having said that if anyone finds themselves down in Kent or even that there London..... just shout
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As DS Robertson says Same rules apply.
Its actually pretty difficult to get time off, i work a few hours every day and only get 3 days holiday a year. I had to get the guy who owns the business to cover for me when i went to Nottingham, which to fair he was more than happy to do.
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As DS Robertson says Same rules apply.
Its actually pretty difficult to get time off, i work a few hours every day and only get 3 days holiday a year. I had to get the guy who owns the business to cover for me when i went to Nottingham, which to fair he was more than happy to do.
Nice FILTH reference there, sir! Love that movie!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tymWDB7gtK4
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Someone gonna have to take the time one day to sit me down and give me a bullet point cinema history thing because when you lot start dropping film references I haven't got a clue wtf you goin on about ;D
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Someone gonna have to take the time one day to sit me down and give me a bullet point cinema history thing because when you lot start dropping film references I haven't got a clue wtf you goin on about ;D
Just click on the links, take notes and bear it in mind when you feel like watching a movie! We all promise you a good watch! ;)
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A wee clip from my favourite Irvine welsh
http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=dn1DXyHSWsg
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I'm pretty sure that most people, when they see I've bumped this thread again have a little inward groan and think "Yeah allright love, you've said your bit, give it a rest now eh?" I do get that. I know I'm like a dog with a bone and if I was you I may very well feel the same way ;D
Thing is, I don't do it to irritate you lot. In fact I don't really do it for you lot at all. I do it just in case someone who really really needs to hear It Gets Better happens to hear it here - the only soapbox I've got - and maybe just maybe that might help to stop this happening just once.
http://www.independent.co.uk/news/world/americas/transgender-teenager-leelah-alcorn-took-her-life-because-parents-would-not-allow-her-to-transition-9950943.html
Another one of my Sisters didn't make it.
So tonight THAT candle has to burn again. Night Leelah, you were always beautiful x
But, like the man says, we keep singing:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qiXTgD4zATQ
Anna
x
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Wow a really deep and touching post, i read the news story with tears in my eye, why can't everyone see what really matters . Religion yet again if its not starting wars i ruining somebodies life. How sad.
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Aw, that's bad. Don't need to get into the whole religion thing...
:'(
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State of the nation address I guess .................
(http://i.huffpost.com/gen/3800018/thumbs/o-TRANS-BANNER-570.jpg?7)
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I hope that none of these issues have happened to you Anna. You know that you have the full backing of everyone here and the rest of the nma family who aren't forum members
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3 of those statistics do not apply to me Pol, guess I've been lucky. As the posts in this thread attest, there are some lovely people on this board. However the NMA fanbase is just as diverse as the societies it is drawn from and as such all attitudes are there. I've seen the finger pointing, nudges, laughing and heard the whispering at gigs. I'm long enough in the tooth to ignore it (or more likely nowadays to confront it) but how does anyone know that 6ft away from me there isn't a young person struggling to come to terms with themselves? What damage might that do?
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Sadly though Anna that means 7 of them do. You don't need to me to tell you what I think. myself and lots of others are proud to your friend and honoured to spend time in your company , any of the backstabbers and whispers are losing out due to their own small mindedness. Stand proud sister
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Anna... just went back to your original post and it seems that it's not available on Youtube anymore..?
Might be interesting for the newbies on here..?
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https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=NFz_uWapX_0
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I'm sure I've brought this up before, but Keith Caputo from Life Of Agony... love that band in the 90's... now TG, not sure what stage he is at nowadays...
Original video, a true fave of mine...
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6JG0N_tpmZA
... and a new version from this year, sorry, not very good quality...
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9W5xv2ci-4U
An interview here...
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KNwcTnUIAnw
Would love to see LOA again...
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Nice links - cheers my loves :-*
Fixed that link in the op now MR
Been a big year personally and also it feels as if just maybe there has been a tiny bit of a cultural shift. I hope so :).
The first 1m.35s of this (sound quality is crap for the song):
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6jfZvdpQnbE
:)