Whatever makes you sad..

[Heno]

I think there are more assholes when you are your own boss to be honest

[Amandistan]

My landlord thretened me with eviction after finding out I had a kitten.  I had her for two moths and became very attached. She never damaged a thing but I should have read the fine print. Then when I had to return her to the shelter, I cried a ******* river. I really miss her.

[Rusco]

I think there are more assholes when you are your own boss to be honest

Depends on a view  . If you could do something on your own, who then cares are you a nice person or someone not to get along with, if you and your folks feel content?

An approximate percentage of total assholes is about 70% in my career. And I've done it for twenty years.
My problem is that I'm too kind to everyone.

Amandistan, that's a sad story about you and your kitten. I can't find the words now... 

[Wessexy Witch]

My landlord thretened me with eviction after finding out I had a kitten.  I had her for two moths and became very attached. She never damaged a thing but I should have read the fine print. Then when I had to return her to the shelter, I cried a ******* river. I really miss her.

Aww, feeling that.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aCiYmCVikjo&feature=kp

Let's lynch the landlord.

 

[ldopas]

Thank you Anna, brought a smile to my face your post! 

Heno, not quite sure I understood your post about assholes???!?

Rusco, now c'mon there are not 70% of assholes. Most people whatever they are, whatever they do are just decent people trying to get on in life. Surely?

Where did this negativism come from people? Sure I can be a cynical bastard sometimes. But surely you shouldn't let situations or people make you negative, otherwise you are giving them control over your happiness!

But really in life you can choose to react one of two ways; optimism or pessimism. To me pessimism is the easy route as it requires us only to project our prejudices and beliefs on a situation with no critical thought about any upsides or positives. I find that expecting the worse, usually gets what you expect. That isn't "cod science", but because we are never looking for a solution or different direction to mitigate the worst outcome.

Its like the person who sees a cricket ball coming their way, refuses to duck, and then says when they are hit in the face; "I knew that would happen". 

In the end, and you all know the answer; who is more likely to attract people, luck and happiness to them, a person who looks at the black side or a positive solution based person who smiles? Call me naive, but everything is a choice including emotions....I didn't say it psychology did!

[Amandistan]

I am all for lynching the landlord. Right now I think my landlord is an asshole because that choice did not benefit him in the least bit. I have dealt with enough heart-break to think that a good bit of people are in fact assholes.
 
 I think that we have a little control over our emotions but most are just chemicals in the brain (serotonin, some other scientific words, etc.) . Often triggered by past experiences and your environment.  For instance a person suffering from clinical depression or PTSD will feel the negative emotions more often and intense. As would a kid who was abused and/or neglected.

  The positive thing about a person with a dark outlook on life is that it is generally not an attractive quality to the average person. Meaning that their friends really are not average and are loyal enough to put up with their negativity. Unless they are all alone and then they likely become cynical and angry.

Of course, I know nothing about science and dropped-out of university my very first year. 

[Rusco]

Idopas, there's a lot of sense with all what you say. Well, I guess the talk about positivism or negativism started from
the topic below I wrote earlier. I think it's interesting to read peoples thoughts here, even though I haven't met IRL many of yous. Wouldn't want to spread pessimism here or to anyone else. I'm not that kind of person, despite a typical Finnish melancholism  . But melancholy is something other than pessimism or negativism.

Amandistan, please don't get it wrong, but have to say some of your views about the negativism sound a bit frightening to me. But the way you told recently about helping turtles moving them away from a road, the kitten issue and children's thing tell you have a lot of good willing.

There must be also differences with our cultures. Amandistan from States, Idopas (umm...UK or?), Master Ray and Anna from England, and I'm from northern Europe.

[ldopas]

Well Im not up for killing a landlord because Wessexy Witch fell foul of her license agreement. Don't get me wrong, I very much feel for her and she herself generously admits it was in her agreement if you read her posts. But when did we become vigilantes when we've made the mistake? Let's chill people! 

With very great respect I just don't get the logic on the "positives" of being negative. In my experience negativity just attracts other negative people. And we have an abyss of negativeness. Erm no thank you for me! Negativity is a solid state to me, ie you stay in the abyss because the nature of negativity is lack of any progress (perhaps going backwards sometimes which is even worse). A spiral of misery.

I just say whatever has happened, there must be people who care for us. Perhaps love us. Look outside on a sunny day, beautiful blue sky. Go for a walk, costs nothing to go to a park and look at the green, listen to the birds feel the breeze. Put on music you love.....how fantastic is that. Go look at an art gallery, wonderful.

People want to serve you a shit sandwich all the time via the news and their prejudices. For every bad deed there are a hundred good ones that never get reported. We can swallow it on their agenda or choose to be happy. Certainly in my life the VAST majority of people I meet are decent, positive, caring people whatever their backgrounds or difficulties. Well that's my philosophy.

[ldopas]

There must be also differences with our cultures. Amandistan from States, Idopas (umm...UK or?), Master Ray and Anna from England, and I'm from northern Europe.

Its ldopas, Ldopas ladies and gents. As in Ldopamine. Had the handle for years. Been on this board since about 2001 (well its precursors), just been madly busy with work to post much lately. But am back.....(cue Jaws theme) 

Rusco, Im from the UK.

[Wessexy Witch]

Well Im not up for killing a landlord because Wessexy Witch fell foul of her license agreement. Don't get me wrong, I very much feel for her and she herself generously admits it was in her agreement if you read her posts. But when did we become vigilantes when we've made the mistake? Let's chill people! 

Not my landlord !

[Anna Woman von NRW]

Interesting points of view coming up here. As ever I'm not claiming to be right and can only go on my own lifestory but..............

Negativity feeds on negativity and it attracts it. The more there is the more it confirms our perceptions and attitudes and shapes our interactions with the world and everything in it. It's NOT a good thing. Don't get me wrong I'm not being all hippy and love the world regardless - a healthy cynicism and sense of realism is vital, overly positive people are as much of a piss off as relentlessly negative folk. And I'm not preaching from a comfortable position where nothing negative has happened (see my It Gets Better & TIAGD thread if you don't believe me, watch that video and I'm sure most of you will be able to imagine) but if I hadn't been able to break out of that negative and destructive cycle then it would not have been a happy outcome - trust me.

I suspect a lot of the time its more comfortable to stick with where we are rather than challenge and counter it. It's a lot ******* harder to make a change than is it to stay there. Certainly that was my experience for far too long. And the thing is, if you can channel all the energy that goes into negativity into something more productive its amazing how empowered and alive you can feel. It ain't easy and takes time  - instead of a straight line graph heading for the stars thing of a wavelength graph gradually going up.

As Ldopas said
"

People want to serve you a shit sandwich all the time

And they do - making YOU feel bad is a quick easy fix to making THEM feel better about themselves. Fall for it if you like, I did. But it's self-defeating. No-one promised us that everything would be as we wanted it or we'd get what we want but look around the world there is always something worse that could happen and lives that are lived in unimaginable situations to any of us who have the ability to be here on the internet posting these thoughts.

Lets be clear, Ruscoe pointed out:

I haven't met IRL many of yous.

Me neither so I have no idea what your own lifestory has given you and I'm really not trying to trivialise anybody's experience at all. It's a discussion and I'm saying what I think that's all. And it's said with love not judgement 

That's the heavy waffle shit bit done, back onto thread: What makes you sad? Not getting a second interview for a job I really wanted and needed, took a day off yesterday and drove all the way to bloody Cambridge and back spending petrol money I cant afford and the frigging Dartford Tunnel costs 2 quid each way as well! Still, got some good feedback and that WILL stand me in good stead for the next one so there you go something negative turned positive.

Kick off in 8 minutes bye....................

[Amandistan]

Idopas, there's a lot of sense with all what you say. Well, I guess the talk about positivism or negativism started from
the topic below I wrote earlier. I think it's interesting to read peoples thoughts here, even though I haven't met IRL many of yous. Wouldn't want to spread pessimism here or to anyone else. I'm not that kind of person, despite a typical Finnish melancholism  . But melancholy is something other than pessimism or negativism.

Amandistan, please don't get it wrong, but have to say some of your views about the negativism sound a bit frightening to me. But the way you told recently about helping turtles moving them away from a road, the kitten issue and children's thing tell you have a lot of good willing.

There must be also differences with our cultures. Amandistan from States, Idopas (umm...UK or?), Master Ray and Anna from England, and I'm from northern Europe.

I was joking about the landlord thing. I should have added this   
I am probably a pessimist but can also be positive. Many people are decent but some want to harm you. People are strange. Some can seem socially awkward, avoid people and have very little confidence but can have wonderful hearts. Others can be ultra-extroverted and out-going with a lot of confidence but in reality not care about anyone at all and can even be abusive.

Personally, I am very shy.

[Shush]

My landlord thretened me with eviction after finding out I had a kitten.  I had her for two moths and became very attached. She never damaged a thing but I should have read the fine print. Then when I had to return her to the shelter, I cried a ******* river. I really miss her.

Aww, feeling that.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aCiYmCVikjo&feature=kp

Let's lynch the landlord.

 

Personally, my concerns are still with the two moths. How are they going to cope now the kitten has gone ?

[Anna Woman von NRW]

Personally, my concerns are still with the two moths. How are they going to cope now the kitten has gone ?
[/quote]

Awesome 

[ldopas]

Apologies I didn't post earlier.....lots of work on I'm glad to say! 

Anna, thanks for agreeing with me. I saw your video and I suspect that you have indeed experienced a lot of negative shit that I won't have. I always think we either bow to (some) others need to feel better about themselves (because that is really what it is about), or say "**** em" it's my life I'm going to live it! And we are obviously gonna live it!!!!!!

Amandistan, you wrote that you are pretty shy. Yep I know somewhat of where you are coming from, I used to be when I was a kid. But I forced myself through teens and early twenties to be verbal. Now you can't shut me up.....ahem!  You are clearly an intelligent, interesting person. All I worried about is your seemingly liking to be negative, which I suspect isn't really you. Eleanor Roosevelt once said, "Do one thing everyday that scares you." That is a quote I've taken to heart over the years. And while I don't think you should strip naked and run down the high street today, its something to think about. For some people, speaking up and out is scary, but y'know it's good to do it!

Anyway.....apologies for the cod philosophy. Can I say, these conversations are making this board interesting again!!!! Early days there were lots of political/philosophical discussions.

...I'm off to do something scary now.