Thanks for posting concerned responses to my last post.
Another thing that makes me sad is that there is a 2 months waiting list to seek out mental health. What a failure of a health system. No wonder why so many people in this country turn to drugs and self-harm. I will just get stoned to feel better for a moment.
Just to clarify to the casual observer, you are talking about services in the USA, not here in the UK. What you are saying is not good, but it is not much different here in the UK. First you would have to go to you local Doctor GP, who will inevitably put you on some form of anti-depressant, then if things did not improve, you would go on a waiting list to see a specialist, who will if needs be put you on a waiting list to see a Physiatrist at hospital level. Never mind, this in the UK is down to waiting lists which is down to money, and then politics, not the quality of what I consider our superb NHS which we as a nation should be very proud of.
Amanda, you in my mind have taken the biggest step, you have acknowledge to yourself, you have a problem, and good for you. If your heart was beating too fast, if your leg was broken, if your skin dried up, etc., you would seek help. Your head is giving out the wrong answers and needs fixing, and you need help for that. Please continue to look for that fix, that help. You know you are capable of happiness, even if it is fleeting moments. Those moments are worth sticking around for. We are happy now and again, but death last forever. Stick around for the moments and cherish them.