Depression

[Amandistan]

I am posting this because since hearing about Robin William's recent suicide it has got me thinking about this topic.
 
There seems to be a lot of ignorance and apathy towards mental illness by the media and just society in general. This can cause people who suffer from it to be ashamed to have it and they may even be ashamed for simply being themselves. This may prevent people from seeking help or support and just suffering silently. This support could very well prevent suicidal thoughts. you would be surprised just how much one person who cares can help.
 
Despite what ignorant people think, it is not a weakness or a choice. You can not control chemicals in the brain  Or "Get over it".
 
Suicide is when all hope is lost. It's really no longer a  decision at this point . Nor is it selfish. People who call it selfish are  being selfish themselves as they are not feeling what their loved one is feeling.
 
It also does not look a certain way. To say "He didn't look depressed" or "i would have never guessed he was depressed" is ignorant and harmful. People who seem the happiest could just be masking it. You never know just how someone is feeling.

People from any background can suffer from it. Some of the kindest, most creative, most intelligent people suffer from depression or other mental illnesses. Personally, I suffer from severe bouts of depression. A couple of times i did think suicide was the best option but never went as far as to actually consider it. I am not ashamed of it as it is beyond my control.
   
 My point is, that people should not be ashamed to have a mental illness and the ignorance and prejudice surrounding it needs to end before more people feel ashamed to seek help and take their own lives.

Please share your thought on this or personal experiences if you would like..

[Bunny]

Not sure if it was depression but......when I split with the first wife I lived in a very black hole for two years. Went from hurt, to anger, to misery and the thought "if you ended it this would all stop". Closest I can understand depression I guess but its personal for everyone and I dont think you can think what someone else feels.
ps I enjoy reading your open honest posts Amandistan. Its refreshing.

[Pol]

Its very difficult to tell sometimes when someone is depressed especially with men as rarely ever open up. My mates son committed suicide a couple of years ago and whilst i didn't know him that well it seemed to me and everyone else that he was in a good place, he always seemed happy had a good job and a nice flat. Everyone was stunned when he took his own life.

[Heno]

don't think i can be depressed in the sense of this thread. its just not there. but i do get very high anxiety which can be confused with the same thing at times.

i also know that a lot of people on the autism spectrum can be diagnosed with depression mistakenly when in fact their anxiety levels are high due to the frustration with naturally compensating with their intelligence - if that makes sense to anyone. adhd, impulsive and passive, aspergers, highly functioning autism, and others can fall into this. 

i guess a a real issue for everyone is that if you care then you should listen. if you don't care and don't listen then don't be surprised if you missed the depressed person sending  up a balloon, giving indications that are very obvious to them, but you are not tuned in. it looks like you don't care. it doesn't mean you have to be analysing everything. it means that you care and you show it through expressing interest in what people want to talk to you about. familiarity can help. but trusting someone, sharing, and not feeling isolated with your inner self is such a worthwhile and positive support

social intelligence is such a great thing to explore in places like the nma forum

[rick a.]

The scariest part of depression is that it seems you just can't tell. I have a good friend who has been fighting a battle with alcohol for a couple of years now. He has made some remarks that led me to think he was going to do something bad but so far nothing has happened. He's incredibly stubborn and I can't help but think that will help him through his troubles.

[Master Ray]

Preaching to the choir here...

I think I might have alluded to it on other threads but, yeah, I am a long-term diagnosed depressive.  I don't say that asking for sympathy or compliments, that's just the truth.  Spent quite a bit of time on anti-depressants, not on them at the moment (although I'm tempted, the way things are right now) but I'm getting through it.

It's horrible.  Not just 'being a bit down' or responding to bad stuff in your life... hell, we all have those times.  True depression is genuinely feeling unable to get out of your bed in the morning, or being disturbed by photos of your younger happier self, or... well, there's a ton of symptoms that anyone whose ever suffered from this illness will be able to write down.

The funny thing is that you can, IMO, have real highs at the same time... one bad day sometimes leads into a good day, where you feel pretty good and laugh a lot.  I suspect this might make me bi-polar..?  Never been diagnosed, perhaps I should look into that... 

Suicide... never got that far (obviously) but I can't deny that I had, in my very lowest moments (a very, very few of them) that awful tingle in my mind... 

But I'm fine and will do my best to keep on being fine.  As should all fellow depressives.  Hell, tomorrows another day!

The best arguement for depressives is something I read on another forum where someone said 'life is like a bad film... it might be shit but the ending might be great... you'll never know if you walk out before the end...'

Anyway, my silly opinion, all the best to fellow NMAers who have problems of this nature...

 

 

[Anna Woman von NRW]

Uh-oh..... deep breath....... Anna's going off on one again......

Mental illness does indeed suffer massive stigma. I think it frightens people and that the perception is that a sufferer is dangerous somehow. As you say often you can't see it either there's no visible sign. Because of this it gets shunned and underated as a serious condition despite the fact that 1 in 4 of us are likely to suffer in one way or another during our lives. Or that 6000 people take their own lives each year in the UK (that means that in my 44 years over a quarter of a million people have killed themselves). I've had to watch three family/friends try and pick themselves up from the wreckage of a loved ones suicide. It's beyond heartbreaking.

Depression doesn't give a toss who you are, what you are, what you do or what you're worth. Just like cancer or diabetes doesn't. It's an illness and it just strikes or not.  You wouldn't say “well Robin Williams was rich, successful, famous so what's he got Cancer for?” you would just accept he got ill. Shame, stigma and judgement have no place here.

When someone fights back from a potentially life threatening illness we quite rightly salute them, admire them and are impressed with their strength. We should see those who beat Depression in a similar way.

I think it's hard for people who haven't suffered to really get to grips with it as a serious condition. Everyone has felt sad, down in the dumps or a bit blue and then you do indeed pull yourself together and so it's thought that all depression needs is a bit of “pulling yourself together”. But the two things are not the same. Depression is a nasty nasty beast and at it's worst can take over everything, tearing through your life turning off every light until it's just black. It's actually quite impressive how strong, all-encompassing and good at it's job this illness can be. And it's not just in your head there's physical effects too. Pains, fatigue, insomnia, eating problems, substance abuse are just some of things that might come along to join in the fun. And it all just snowballs, grinding you down, wearing you out and shutting down your life. Hopefully help, support and time brings you back. If not and the disease keeps getting stronger then there is likely to be only one way out. Finding yourself in a place where death by your own hand seems the preferred option and you are looking at turning off the last light yourself is terrifying. Well afterwards when the sun comes up and brings the light back it's terrifying, at the time its logical and looks to offer the only release. I faced down the demon that infected me with this illness although a little bit must still be in here because I get mild flashbacks now and then. Sadly as Robin Williams showed us not everyone beats the disease.

People who are suffering illness need compassion, understanding and patience. It's amazing how much the tiniest kind gesture, word or even a smile can mean – anything that puts a light back on even for just a minute is cherished.

To quote the brave soul who stood up and started this thread:

“People should not be ashamed to have a mental illness and the ignorance and prejudice surrounding it needs to end”

Love to anyone, anywhere suffering.

Anna
x

[lotus]

Thanks Anna, I can`t find better words

Depressing means "illness" and has nothing to do with "pulling yourself together"
but often it`s dangerous to speak about it at work, a lot of people think depression means someone is crazy, and this for the rest of life, they stop trusting this person and even a normal flue for two weeks is a signal for depression coming back - shit and no help, the one fighting back from illness has to fight with a new enemy in the brain of other ones 

I know (knew) some people with depression and their story  ...

[Knievel]

I have a lot a lot to say about this so let me try keep it brief - but succinct never was a skill of mine - I'll try.
I was diagnosed with clinical depression fifteen years ago and I always denied it - I was sure that I was just reasonably upset about horrible stuff - whether the horror was of seeing sheep in a truck on their way to slaughter or losing family; I just felt that I lived in horror and I was reacting to the horror in a very normal way.
But it was depression.
Now what i want to add to this thread is something that is real shocking - friends couldn't cope with my depression - this is understandable - yes they could take the high me - self medicating and black joking - but I had a period of maybe four years where I was real gone low where friends just could nt cope with me and here's the shocker - the only people who saw that I had an illness that needed treating gently were the cops whenever I was arrested - the courts - the housing benefit team and the inland revenue - I'm self employed and had a spell of fifteen months where I did not even open a letter - eventually after building up a £15 000 debt I was visited and the guy got in touch with the highers and said back the **** off this man - when I was ok enough to get back to the paperwork we dealt with this non real debt that they'd estimated from my incommunicado.  They knew that I was not a fraudster and they gave me enough space to get back to my job.

Well it shocked me anyway.

And do you know something?  I never did pharmaceuticals - only speed and acid - but I did try heaps of other stuff - correct nutrition - positive thinking - counselling and eventually got dragged into tai chi chuan by one friend who is diagnosed bi polar and did stand by me through the worst - and after a few months of tai chi I was feeling ok - I've been going to five 2 hour classes a week now for almost four years and the depression is good as gone - I get a bad week every three or four months where I just allow it and stay in bed but mostly I'm ok these days - I can't say that tai chi will work for everyone and also the class I go to is an extraordinarilly good tai chi class - there's a lot of shite tai chi out there - but I do recommend anyone who's been through the whole list of ways to cope and still struggling to give it a shot

But that's the thing with depression isn't it - it's so hard to get yourself well - I'd have never have gone had it not been for the friend who practically forced me into the class. 

Anyway - just wanted to say something about how wierd it was that the soul sucking anunaki were the ones who seemed to understand my illness.

Wierd.

[sozbot]

Uh-oh..... deep breath....... Anna's going off on one again......

...

Anna
x

Absolutely brilliant. Right on the money.

[Amandistan]

I was actually a bit reluctant to read the responses and put it off for a week but there are some good posts.

To clarify, I do not suffer from clinical depression nor was ever diagnosed with it. that's why i said bouts of depression. I am actually on the high end of the autism spectrum and have a minor case of ADHD. The high anxiety, over-active senses  and feelings of social isolation can all too often be mistaken for depression as it often feels that all hope is lost. I imagine that the more dark moments of this are how people with clinical depression feel all of the time.


I did not go into too much detail about myself because I want it to be more of a support post for people who suffer from depression or other mental illnesses. 

I really loved reading all of these posts. I think the NMA forum is a great place to speak about this.

[Jibberish]

Jake Burns from Stiff Little Fingers has written a beautiful song about his own depression. The acoustic version is one of those songs that makes eyes wet:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JKbGYjw53OI

[Coumarin]

ive been  through this in the recent past. "friends" disown you for good reason, because they dont see you as helpful to them anymore, you would be a burdon to them.

that is understandable. or is it?

ive been in hospital for a month with a smashed ankle in the past. i was off work for 6 months, that was in my 20s. this sort illness, and yes it is an illness that  is treatable, i wont say curable. is misunderstood or ridiculed by those not suffering with it or at least lack a basic understanding of mental health.

we all go through bad phases in our lives, getting through it is tough.

you need friends and family most often.

C