Why must society shame women's bodies so badly? :(

[Amandistan]

Why?
It's really, really crap. Even if you tell yourself you are not influenced by "The ideal body"  you still shame you own body without even realizing.

Every time I try on clothes, I feel so ugly, worthless and fat.  No matter how I eat or work out my stomach is not flat and my ass and breast don't stick out far enough. Why must society put such unreasonable expectations on women.

They do not seem to care that this is causing some girls to force throw-up overtime they eat. Even children do it.

If you are too fat, you are told to "Stop eating and being lazy you fat cow" .
If you are too thin you are told to "Eat a sandwich you skinny *****."
There is not winning and nothing will ever be good enough for some men.

When 8 year olds have anorexia, there is seriously something very wrong.
Being healthy doesn't seem to matter. Some people have medical conditions and can;t lose weight yet people act as if they are lazy. The same for girls who can't gain. 

Last year (all last year.).  I would purposely deprive myself of food.  I would eat 11,00- 13,00 kcals, then ride a bike for three hours, then walk for 2 more. I did this when traveling, which runs the body down and eventually passed out.

I feel fat at a perfect BMI and less than 130 lbs. When i deprived myself of food and was at 117 lbs, I still felt fat.

Women are also shamed for having a period.
What the hell can women do right to like up to society's expectations?

[Pol]

I've got to say Imo opinion only certain glossy magazines and media outlets promote this ideal woman your talking about. Men certainly aren't looking for this well not this one anyway and whilst we be pre-programmed to look for healthly partners I'm definitely not looking for some bimbo . Compatibility is so much more complicated than a size 10 figure I've had relationships with females ranging from say size 6 to size 20 ( uk size)
My advice ignore the stupid pricks your way better than them

[Anna Woman von NRW]

Why must society shame women's bodies so badly?

Because it sells.

[Master Ray]

Oh, Master Ray has a rant brewing up right now... be warned, there may be strong language ahead... 

The way that the media treats young (and older) women nowadays makes me utterly ******* sick.  The way those doctored pictures of 'what a woman should look like' are presented an some kind of stupid ideal for impressionable young girls to aspire towards?  Newsflash, those pictures are edited to fuuck.  Those young girls will never look like that, not without some kind of real-life photoshop.

I'm thinking about three girls I've known in my life.  Two of them from the 90's... both really lovely looking girls.  Any man would have been proud to be seen with them, trust me.  And they both ended up with eating disorders, thanks to 'fashion' (and is there anything as worthless as 'fashion?  I digress...)

One of them is dead now, thanks to eating disorders, and the other one I see occasionally around town... she's ten years younger than me and looks ten years older.  And all thanks to pressure about 'what a woman should look like...'

The third one, thankfully, is OK... now this lovely girl had... well, huge boobs.     Sorry to go all Sid James on you, but that's what it is.  We had one of those silly conversations about what you'd do if you won the lottery and the first thing she said was 'I'd get a big boob job...'     Because she, lovely as she was but not too bright, was reading those silly magazines that said that 'proper' breasts looked like hot-air balloons that you could drown in...

Now, have any of you ever heard a man say anything like this... 'Oh, I don't like breasts!  They're horrible, unless they're hard and utterly immovable!  Bums?  Awful, they wobble a bit!  You know what I like?  Ribs!  Ribs are so sexy!!!'   

Nope.  Real men like real women with all the bumps and wobbles and sags that come with it.

Such a shame that so many young women don't realise that.   






 

[ldopas]

Well that's sad Master Ray. I've known and do know a lot of women both personally and professionally and they are nothing like described here. They don't spend all day worrying about body shape. I'm willing to bet most women don't. I understand it can be an issue with the young, but then everything is at an early age.

I'm sure it occurs, but surely this is both societies fault and some issue with the individual. For something to be an issue you have to have a proposer and acceptor.

Most women I know and I myself don't give a flying f**k what others think about the way we look, accept it or don't.....it's their problem not mine! I've got more important things to do in life!!!! 

In the end, and I'm sorry to sound a bit of "tough love", if you are going to worry about others opinions of things that you can do little about then you are going to miss life as it canters by and then you are dead.

The fashion industry is stupid, asinine, self serving and irrelevant. Best to ignore it.

[Master Ray]

Well that's sad Master Ray. I've known and do know a lot of women both personally and professionally and they are nothing like described here. They don't spend all day worrying about body shape. I'm willing to bet most women don't. I understand it can be an issue with the young, but then everything is at an early age.

I'm sure it occurs, but surely this is both societies fault and some issue with the individual. For something to be an issue you have to have a proposer and acceptor.

Most women I know and I myself don't give a flying f**k what others think about the way we look, accept it or don't.....it's their problem not mine! I've got more important things to do in life!!!! 

In the end, and I'm sorry to sound a bit of "tough love", if you are going to worry about others opinions of things that you can do little about then you are going to miss life as it canters by and then you are dead.

The fashion industry is stupid, asinine, self serving and irrelevant. Best to ignore it.

Mate, I was talking about specific cases... and also how it affects the naïve.  Not a generalisation of all women. Damn, I work almost excusively with women!

[Tony S]

If you are too fat, you are told to "Stop eating and being lazy you fat cow" .
If you are too thin you are told to "Eat a sandwich you skinny *****."
There is not winning and nothing will ever be good enough for some men.

Any man that would say these things to a woman is not worth wasting precious seconds on. I'd like to think that most of us wouldn't dream of acting like this, and neither do we have some perfect ideal shape that we want a woman to be.

[ldopas]

Completely agree with Tony S. Who are these assholes who say these things, I've not met many?

If you are mixing with people who have the lack of class and manners to say these things then you are with the wrong people. I have met very very few who would talk like that. Perhaps you are mixing with the wrong people, or (and this is controversial) you are reading to much or are a bit over sensitive?

I also agree with witch, in the end we are all on a journey to oblivion, let's enjoy the ride and sod anyone who thinks we should be some sort of shape, size or weight. Who cares!!!!!! 

[Amandistan]

I don't care so much what others think. It's me who is hard on myself.  I did not realize why but subconsciously the fashion industry has influenced me vision or what a woman's body should look like.
It's sad because it's photoshopped and nobody will look like that ever.

I think everyone cares what others think but don't always know it or care to admit it.

[Master Ray]

I don't care so much what others think. It's me who is hard on myself.  I did not realize why but subconsciously the fashion industry has influenced me vision or what a woman's body should look like.
It's sad because it's photoshopped and nobody will look like that ever.

I think everyone cares what others think but don't always know it or care to admit it.

I used to be slim and not bad looking, IMO anyway...

Nowadays, I have a flabby midriff, big bags under my eyes, hair turning white all over the place, hair growing in other places (which, oddly, is as dark as the other hair used to be...).. basically, everything all falling apart...

... and yet I still get depressed when I see myself in the mirror.  Delusional as fuuck, eh?

Body issues aren't exclusive to the young... very few of us are happy about the way we look.  Don't be hard on yourself, Amandistan.

 

[ldopas]

I think everyone cares what others think but don't always know it or care to admit it.

Well this is partly right IMO. In my case I care about what people I love and respect think about my opinions. But the way I look is the way I look. Unless I go under the knife that is who I am, who we are. So worrying about what others think is wasted energy. That is my take.

[ldopas]

Don't be hard on yourself, Amandistan.

Master Ray.....I love the way you posted this, yet in the earlier part of your email you ripped into yourself physically, I was thinking Gandalf for a minute there. 

Chill my friend, it cannot be that bad. I assume it all still works. That is something. no?

[Master Ray]

Don't be hard on yourself, Amandistan.

Master Ray.....I love the way you posted this, yet in the earlier part of your email you ripped into yourself physically, I was thinking Gandalf for a minute there. 

Chill my friend, it cannot be that bad. I assume it all still works. That is something. no?

Yeah, just re-read that... it was a self-deprecating thing aimed at anyone who is unhappy with their body!

And it all STILL works!!!  Honestly!   

[Bunny]

Well. To my mind beauty sells but in the same way, you can decorate a rotten cake to make it look nice . But its still rotten. Its the ingredients that make it taste better.

Yes I have come all over deep and meaningful, but i think its a valid observation.

*wishes there was a pondering smiley.

Maybe age and understanding teaches you to see past the superficial crap when everyone is selling something.

[Sheena]

Oh! This is my soap box subject!  I know that many women (and men too) are dissatisfied with their bodies and appearance.  I work with many intelligent women of all ages and it is a common thread that runs through many lives.  It's based on insecurity and feeds off the media; which is essentially designed to encourage dissatisfaction to sell products.  Unfortunately, knowing this doesn't completely solve the problem. 

I've become very interested in burlesque over the last year, precisely because it is full of real women of all shapes and sizes sticking two fingers up to conventional images of women and saying "this is my body and it's beautiful."  I also met a brilliant and semi-naked woman during the NMA set at BT recently (presenting herself in a completely non-sexual way; as opposed to "sexy" scantily clad).  She told me that it had taken her 20 years to achieve the level of comfort that she was enjoying that day, clothed in just her own skin.  Powerful stuff.  I try and surround myself with these attitudes as an antidote to the poison force-fed to us in society.

Step off the box and breathe...