Why is the need for attention seen as negative by society?

[Amandistan]

So it's a part of human nature for an individual to need some type of attention.
Some lucky children get positive attention as kids. Some of us do not so isn't it natural to search elsewhere? 

Why are people who require more attention looked down upon? 
If someone feels alone, isn't it natural to want some type of attention and love?

Schools label kids who seek attention as "Bad" or disruptive. Well don't that just do more harm than good?
Won't it just make kids who do not have a supportive home more bitter as adults? 


The bottom line is that seeking attention is not always a bad thing but a natural instinct. Just as the need for love is.

Any other views on this?

[Master Ray]

If you are lost in the debris of this strange thing called 'life', it's fine to seek others via any means necessary, just to get some kind of connection that makes you feel less terrible.  Humans need to connect, even if it's only via Wi-Fi. 

You are a very ******* long way from being alone in this.

Chin up, hun.

[Sheena]

Isn't the phrase "attention-seeking" horrible?  So loaded with negativity.  At work we use the phrase "attention needing"; because needs are legitimate and people do need human connection.  Hope it helps to know that some people get it x

[Shush]

Attention seeker is a negative phrase. I think it is based on jealousy. Those who state it are aware attention is off them and onto someone else.   

[Sheena]

I also think that neediness can be seen as a weakness; rather than a normal, healthy part of the human condition.

[BlackCountryMaggiD]

I guess a lot has to do with how you get that attention Amanda!
Most people from my experience don't look down on people who are quieter or more shy!
BUT if your way of getting attention is to be confrontational then eventaully it's also human nature that people will tire of it!

[c]

Seeking attention and needing attention are not mutually inclusive. We can all think of people who by their actions seem to shout "look at me". The unlamented Space was an example of this on this board. He sought attention - but did he need attention?

There does seem to be a time in a child's life when they seek any attention; good or bad, it doesn't seem to matter. Certainly that was the case with my kids. But the elder one has moved on from that - mostly.

Equally when a kid is needy and continually disruptive in a school class, for example, the needs of that kid have to be balanced against the needs of that kid's classmates - who also need to be able to learn (that's what they're at school for) with a relative minimum of disruption.  Also there are those kids who are quiet and shy do not seek attention - even if they need it - and sometimes pass under the radar, because the disruptors monopolise the attention of the teaching staff.

 
 

[Pol]

I think I'm a introverted attention seeker if that makes sense. Yes I was the kid at school who got in the most trouble especially at primary school. Yes I liked to dye my hair and wear the clothes as a teenager. Yes I'm the one who would argue with the boss hoping for better rights etc. Now I mostly keep my tattoos etc covered especially the one on my head but don't mind displaying it when I choose to. I wear clothes I probably shouldn't I love nike blazer trainers converse and boots, Levi, biker jackets goth trench coat, black or camo combats. I wear a nma t shirt nearly everyday I have about 12 , I wear over a hoodie when its too cold not too.
I don't want attention im just being me now if others don't like it tough they can think what they like. Me I think its them that have the problem, stuck in a rut with their boring lacking imagination life. I love seeing people who are individual no matter how they dress and look the world needs more people like that.

Be who you are and not what you think others want you to be

[Amandistan]

I don't see it as confrontational. If people chose to interpret it that way, then it is incorrect.   I wanted attention as a kid from my dad but damned if i ever got that.  I got belted and i guess that is attention.

the thing is the kid who is disruptive is often abused or neglected. constant punishment will create a bitter adult or a possible teen suicide. 

[Master Ray]

Some fine responses... to which I can only add this version of an NMA classic, Notice Me, which I think is applicable... I do like this one...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k5BqKQjT_xw